Slightly Broken
by Jessica Doom
Summary: Albus Potter has a distraction called love. He can't help but to yearn for it, but that's not exactly what the boys he's interested in find satisfying. And that's why he makes the deal with Scorpius Malfoy. He gets what he wants and Scorpius gets what he likes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I woke up the other day with this idea. I thought it was awesome, so I hope you enjoy! Please leave reviews!**

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"You look... Fuck, you look sexy tonight."

_Not again. This is definitely not happening again._

"Let's skip dessert. I just wanna get you to back to my place."

_Yeah, that's romantic. I don't think I could ever ask for more in a relationship that this stunning display of affection. Oh, so touched._

"Strip for me. You know you want to, you little slag…."

_Slag? That _really_ makes me want to jump in bed with you now!_

"Just shut up and take it like a man, Potter."

_Like a man? A man now takes it up the ass without question after the shittiest date of his life? Wow, I wasn't aware._

…_But if I have to, I will. We've already gone this far, right? And it's expected. Besides…this could be the thing that saves this date. A good lay._

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Albus Severus Potter rested his head back against his seat on the Hogwarts Express. It had been nearly a month since his last date, but he just couldn't shake it from his mind. It had been…an absolute wreck. He'd done the walk of shame the day after for the third time that month and had never felt more humiliated in his life. Mostly because he was pretty sure he had lost whatever shred of dignity he'd had left in that high-class apartment that practically _reeked_ of Daddy's Pureblood money.

"Hey, you never told me what happened with Aubadon. Is he letting you call him 'Auby' yet?" Rose Weasley threw a saucy, little wink over her cousin, who also doubled as her best friend. They were close and they told each other anything. Which was why it was a huge surprise to her that he hadn't yet gushed over his date with a guy he hadn't been able to shut up about before the start of summer.

"No. He insisted I call him 'Mr. Zabini, sir' the entire time he was plowing me," Albus spat, his voice dripping venom and hate. It was clear in every syllable he uttered that he had definitely _not_ had a good experience with the once-upon-a-time man of his dreams. "And when I left, I insisted upon calling him 'Goodbye, Asshole'."

The girl seated across from him frowned, unable to decipher what exactly it was that she was supposed to say here. She flicked her brilliant crop of red hair over her shoulder, wanting it out of her heart-shaped face as she thought. Those eyes, deep blue as the lake they were currently crossing, scanned every inch of her cousin's face for hidden emotions. Albus was good at that – tucking away what he was feeling so he could seem tougher. She knew why he did it, too. Growing up with a brother as intimidating as James could do that to a boy. Perching on the edge of her seat, Rose leaned in to gently touch the other's shoulder. She didn't dare touch him more for fear of having him close down entirely. "Are you feeling ready to talk about it…?" she pried gently, her other hand coming up to close over her subtly revealing chest through her hardly-buttoned blouse. This was more for Al's sake than her own. It was a long-standing pet-peeve of his that she showed her rather fully blossomed breasts at any chance she could. And seeing that she wasn't bothering to cover up in the wake of his devastation could distract him from the actual subject at hand.

Full of drama and obvious hurt, Albus sighed and threw his hands up in the air. What was he supposed to say?! "It was all I wanted all last year! All I wanted was for Aubadon Zabini to notice me! I wanted him to look at me and think 'Hey, I want to make that boy mine!'. But this…. It didn't happen the way I wanted it to, okay? That's all I know, Rose. I expected it to be beautiful and romantic and like…a slow courtship and whatever. But it wasn't. All throughout the date, he was handsy under the table. He whispered about how much he just wanted to take me on the table. And…and I still went home with him! Even after he called me a fucking whore, basically, I _still_ let him _fuck_ me! I didn't want to…but I let him! I was depressed and I wanted _something_ to be good from that stupid night! But it _wasn't_! It was painful and depressing and he kept calling me names and spanking me and…. It was just like the other two dates from this summer – miserable.

"I am a fucking waste of space. …and a slut."

A small keening noise closed over the silence left in the wake of Albus' words. Rose wasn't really sure what to say to that…. This was more than she had expected to be dispelled. It was a rush of pathetic and rage and shattered pieces of a heart that just tore her to shreds. "Allie…," she intoned softly, launching herself off of her seat and into Albus' lap. She had her arms wound so tightly around him; he wouldn't have been able to push her off if he'd tried. And try he did. But her arms held steadfast and her reassuring stream of words never ceased.

Until the boy's hands finally wedged under her arms and forced her back into her own seat, that pathetic frown still on her lips. "Stop!" Albus nearly shouted, pushing his hair out of his face and trying to remain composed. Yes, he was hurting. Yes, he was a bit shattered. And, yes, he just wanted to hide in a hole for the rest of his life rather than going back to school for their last and hardest year. But these weren't options. He had to be strong, and he had to reassure everyone that he was fine.

Because he would be. Eventually.

"I'm fine, Rose." His words sounded forced and fake, but he ploughed on. If he could get it out, he could believe it himself. "I just want to get past this…and focus on this year. We graduate in nine months and…and that's all I really want to think about. I've had enough…bad dates and desperate fucks to last a few years. So…please, don't try to fix this. Because I know you will if I don't expressly bar you from it."

Though Albus had tried his best to convince himself that the thing with Zabini had been fine and dandy in the end, he knew somewhere on the surface that he was lying. It was hard to fool yourself completely, after all.

It also was a bit hard to trick your dreams into believing your lies. Dreams were a special sort of evil that rooted into your deepest and darkest secrets to bring things to the surface that you wished you could just let alone. And it was in his dreams that the boy had come to actually regret the way he had spent his stomach.

These dreams kept replaying the moments of lapsed judgment over and over again. Three separate occasions of reckless abandon that he had enjoyed for the moment of release and hated the rest of the time. Three times he could have readily said 'no', and _should_ have, but didn't. The harsh fucks in the dark with fumbled kisses and a lack of kind words. There was no denying it; he had actually liked being taken so forcefully. But this took a backseat to the _need_ he had to be loved. He found himself longing the entire time to have waited with all of this intimacy until he'd found 'the one'. He hadn't waited, however, at the first part of the summer to give up that small part of him that should have been locked away tightly. And it had all tumbled downhill from there….

Albus could only blame himself and his incredible sex drive.

Today, just like every day in the month since he'd started his seventh year at Hogwarts, Albus awoke in tears. He was grateful for the drapes that hung around him and that he'd learned to close them before going to sleep. Starting your mornings with a good sob-fest was not an indication of sanity in a teenage boy, he was sure. He didn't want to give the others in his dormitory the opportunity to point that out, either.

As his breathing calmed back to normal, the boy sat up in his bed. He took a deep inhalation of the stale, sealed-in air around him, satisfied with the homely smell of his own things and his own body. He was alone, and right now that felt more comforting than anything. He wasn't waking up sharing this bed with a man he'd hoped could bring love into his life before he'd shattered what was left of his heart. He wasn't waking up with a soreness that could only remind him of the shame he'd brought to himself the night previous. And he most definitely wasn't waking up with the worst ache to his chest that he'd ever experienced.

If he kept playing his cards right, maybe that would never happen to him again. But for that, he'd have to stop acting like an irrational idiot and just...settle. Maybe he should just stop looking for love and that could fix all of his problems.

A snort of derision preceded his action of basically tearing his curtains to the side. He looked around the dorm, scanning all five of the other beds shrouded in reds and golds subdued by the faint light of early dawn. Not a single one of the other Gryffindor seventh year boys were awake, causing a frown to split Al's lips as he reached for his watch.

Seven-thirty...

Anything before eight was considered damnable to these boys, so everything clicked back into reason easily. Only a small smile on his lips, Al raised himself up and stretched, the hem of his pajama shirt raising up to reveal a small section of slightly tanned muscle. The only other article of clothing he wore was a simple pair of navy boxer shorts that accentuated his Quidditch-toned frame just right. And though it might look like he had severe bed-head, Albus finished off his deliriously attractive physique with a crop of rich black hair that was always touseled in just the right way.

_It's no wonder_, he couldn't help but to think as he rummaged silently around in his trunk. _If I wasn't this good looking...they may want to love me more than fuck me._

It was a vain thing to think, but he'd been told it ever since he could recall. Girls and boys alike had been pointing out how gorgeous and tempting he was for years now. Ever since it was acceptable for someone to lust after him. And before that, there had always been these small remarks to his mother on how beautiful a baby she had. Lily and James were never talked about as much as he was - but maybe that was because he was practically a carbon-copy of his father.

The great savior of the wizarding world!

With a roll of the eyes, Albus shucked off his clothes before pulling on a fresh set of school robes. He didn't even bother to check the room and make sure no one was awake. He wasn't ashamed of how he looked, there being no reason for it. Even if the rest of the boys had been awake, he still wouldn't be abashed to change in front of them as they would have. He just...had no shame. And he wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not...

"Why are you always up so fuckin' early?"

Only slightly startled, Albus looked up at bed directly behind his. His eyebrow was raised and he was halfway through zipping up his trousers. "Maybe because I have drive and ambition, Frankie Shlongbottom." He flashed a heart-stopping wink before finishing dressing and going to sit on the edge of the other's bed to pull on his shoes. "Unlike you?"

The boy, whose pale cheeks had a slight roundness to them that he'd come to grow in to, reached out to lazily push at his friend's shoulder. He couldn't be bothered to stand up for himself because, in fact, it was true. No one wanted anything more than Al's overall desire for everyday life. Anyone who couldn't believe that was just deluding themselves.

"Get dressed. I want breakfast and I don't want to go down alone."

Frank nodded and got out of bed, signaling for a minute of patience as he grabbed his clothes and headed for the bathroom. He hadn't questioned Albus' need to have a friend at his side. After seven years of sharing a dormitory room, it was common knowledge that this boy was never alone. No one knew why, and it was possible that no one cared. He was just…always by someone's side.

No doubt there was some sort of deep, pathological need that he had for constant attention. But it wasn't something he put much focus on. It was what it was.

He felt absolutely helpless without company.

"Looks like partner projects start today," Frank said under his breath, nodding to a list of potions on the chalkboard as they entered the Potions classroom. "You'll be my partner, right? I don't think I can pass this if I get paired with…someone else." Eyes widening, he looked pointedly over at the table they were making their way over to. There sat Albus' cousin Rose along with a pair of blonde boys with dreamy eyes – the Scamander twins. And the someone else that his friend was referring to was most definitely not either Lorcan or Lysander. Rose's skill in potions was the worst in the class, with Frank's seconding close behind.

Rolling his eyes, Albus made his way to the table and settled himself easily onto a stool. "Sure, Frankie. I'll work with you," he said, making a point to be heard by Rose so there would be no qualms later.

Clearly she had heard as he let out a small moan of distress. "Seriously, Allie? Who am I supposed to work with, then?" She crossed her arms over her chest again, the signature signal for when she was trying to get her way. With most boys, the obvious reveal of her large breasts through the opening of her unbuttoned uniform shirt was distracting enough to win them over.

Except Albus' trigger was most definitely not the female anatomy.

With a smirk and a casual shrug, Al nodded towards the door just as a tall boy with sickly pale skin, luminescent blonde hair, and a predatory slink to his step walked through it. "Malfoy always seems to be in need of a partner. Maybe your girlish whiles could work on him?"

Rose pulled an unpleasant face and tugged her robes around her chest. "Don't even. Malfoy is the _last_ person on this earth I would sit next to, let alone work on a term-long project with. _And_ he's-"

"Standing right beside you and can hear every word you say. Thanks, Weaslette." A dangerous whiff of a musky cologne mixed with…peppermint? overwhelmed Albus' senses as the blonde boy leaned in closer to their group at the side of their table. For a moment he found himself pleased with the scent, but the drawling voice in his ear brought him to a cringe. "You're lucky I don't take offense easily. For you, it's a good thing I've grown up hearing things like that aimed towards my family all my life. And that I expect them coming from _your_ family." Scorpius put on a cloying smile before turning sharply on his heel and walking to the opposite end of the classroom.

For a moment, the small group at Albus' table said not a word. They didn't know what to say…. It seemed everyone had been surprised by the reality of getting caught.

Biting her lip, Rose let out a small, nervous giggle and waved it off like it was nothing. Inside she was still shaking a little bit, but she was good at putting up facades. She was a growing woman, after all. "What a jerk," she said, meaning to come out strong and resilient. But the pounding of her heart swayed her tone to being embarrassingly unstable.

Albus wanted to respond. He wanted to spew out a list of insults against Malfoy. There was so much he _could_ have said, but there was no time. As he opened his mouth to speak, a glare poised on his self-righteous peer, a rather rotund man waddled through the door, closing it with conviction behind him.

"As I'm sure some of you have guessed, we start our first term project today! You will be working in pairs and you will be working on one rather lengthy, rather complicated potion until the middle of February." Every teenager turned in their seat to look for their partner, smiling knowingly to one another. But these hopes were quickly dispelled with Professor Slughorn's next sentence – "_I_ will be picking your partners." The man ignored all of the groans of protest, turning towards the chalkboard. "Your partners will be matched to your skill-set. The two of you will be working on a potion that is just slightly higher than what I know you can currently handle. What I want to see from this project is your progress. You will have to work alongside your partner both in and out of class to complete these potions. I'm not going to lie, quite a few of them _will_ take a lot of time, especially if you make mistakes." He pointed to the list on the board, peeking back at the angry bunch that was his seventh year class. "This is a N.E.W.T. level class, children. All of these potions are required at this level. So I don't want to hear complaining. I also don't want anyone asking for new partners. In the adult world, you will have to work with people you don't like. Here is your chance to experience that."

Slughorn put on a small smile, and then pulled a piece of parchment from his pocket. From it he started to list off last names in pairs, starting with the Scamander twins. Following came Rose and Frank. The rest of the class was called out into pairs, as well, leaving Albus for last. And he had been listening for who would be left, which had his face falling before he had even heard the name. Slowly, his gaze travelled over to the other side of the room and landed on the person he knew no one in this class wanted to work with – Scorpius Malfoy.

Those eyes of silver darkened dangerously as he realized it as well, looking over to share the look of hatred. Between them burned someone so intense it could only be a mutual lust for one another's head on a silver platter. So…why exactly was it that Slughorn thought it a good idea for them to work together on this?

Albus' fists clenched as he broke the uncomfortable look and turned towards Rose and Frank. "What is he thinking?!" he hissed, vaguely hearing the call for partners to sit together. "We'll kill each other by the end!"

"Maybe that's the point," Frank said softly, avoiding looking at his friend out of shame and using a tone that was less than sympathetic. "Look, you can't let him sit here, Al. You…you gotta go over there."

_What?_

Nevermind having to work with this absolute jerk. This…this pig-headed, self-righteous, narcissistic asshole! But his friends wouldn't even allow him to sit by them for _his_ support?! In a huff, his jaw squared and his fists clenched around his things, Albus stood and stormed over to Scorpius' otherwise empty table. On the way, he allowed his bag to thunk into both Frank and Rose's heads with absolutely no remorse. He'd properly chew them out later, but for now their cries of protest would have to do.

"Don't look so enthused to work with me."

Albus refused to look up at the other boy. He narrowed his eyes down at the wood of the table and nervously drummed his fingers upon his thigh. If he gave the other the satisfaction of responding, Scorpius would have the upper hand. He couldn't allow that or the next few months would be hell.

"Fine, don't speak to me. No skin off my back." He could _hear_ the Malfoy sneer in his voice, a fact which made Albus grit his teeth in order to try and drown it out. "However, it may be easier to get through this project with good marks if you do speak a little to me. It's not like it will kill you..."

The pair sat in complete silence for the next few minutes, Scorpius' eyes following Slughorn around the classroom, and Albus still focused on the table. It wasn't until the plumply man hobbled over to them that any words were shared within their small radius.

"And lastly, my greatest group. I'm actually rather fond of this pairing."

"I'm glad someone is...," Albus muttered under his breath.

The Potions Master didn't miss a beat, unfazed or unaware of what the boy had said. "There's quite a bit if potential here. I expect a lot from this group. And that's why I'm giving you the hardest brew of them all." The man waved over the the chalkboard where every potion had been crossed off but one.

Albus squinted at it and read out loud, "The Fertility Salve?"

With a nod, Slughorn set a book the size of a small novel down in front of them. Both boys' eyes went wide and they reached for it at the same time. The instant his hand touched Scorpius', Albus shrank back as if he'd been burned. An electric shock had flown straight through him that he couldn't quite describe or understand. He didn't want to dwell on it and therefore shoved the feeling from his mind. He, instead, just sat resilient in his chair and watched his partner open the book.

"This takes...ages and countless long days to brew," Scorpius spoke softly, his voice gentle and actually tolerable when around professors, apparently. "My father brewed a batch once and...I never saw him." He let out a mirthless wind of a laugh. "What makes you think we can handle this?"

There are two of you and you are quite possibly the most brilliant wizards of your year. Quite possibly the most brilliant I've seen in years. Put your heads together and you can handle this!" With a sly smile, the man walked away and left the other two to simultaneously stare at their manual in silence. Shocked.

"He...he's right..."

Finally, Albus managed half a look in Scorpius' general direction. He frowned at him, peeking over into that book that looked like hell in word form. "What...what do you mean...?" he questioned uncertainly, still not losing the bite to his tone.

With a shrug, Scorpius set the book on the tabletop and slid it between them. He flipped through the pages, looking up at his partner. "We could do this. With the two of us going at it, it wouldn't be all that complicated. Just...time consuming."

_Which means spending a lot of time with this pretentious dick. Is that something I really want? Then again, is it something I have the power to fight?_

With a sigh, Al gave in and leaned in closer to the book. He studied the steps, then flipped a few pages back to examine the ingredients list. It did look like it could be alright... "Fine, then," he said softly. "I'll do it. But, uh...what exactly does this potion do? I'm not familiar with it and if we'll be brewing it, I should know what it does. Right?"

There was a moment where the blonde boy seemed to just stare at the brunette, trying understand him. Maybe trying to figure out if he was serious or not. Or maybe just trying to understand his behaviors. Whatever it was, it made Albus squirm uncomfortably and shiver before averting his own eyes again. "It's used as a last-ditch effort to conceive children in couples who may he having...issues. The salve works as a lubricant that gets spread over the 'father's penis. When he penetrates and their fluids mix...it is supposed to help guide the process of fertilization. I'm told it works very well, actually. Especially in homosexual couples."

Scorpius' casual mention of homosexuality was very nonchalant. But something about the way his eye twinkled or something said that he knew something. It seemed to say, "_You know, for your future sex life and all._"

Blushing, Albus turned away from the Slytherin boy altogether. Had he guessed? Had someone told him? Did he think himself superior because of it now? Or was he himself just imagining that look...?

The rest of the class went bt rather quietly for this pair of partners. Albus didn't want to acknowledge the other anymore, small fears eating at his insides. And Scorpius was rather content to just devour the lengthy potion-making process. Before either of them knew it, the bell rang to signal the end of class. Both boys jumped up rather quickly and gathered their things, heading for the door to escape this nightmare and try to put it behind them for the moment.

Or that was what Albus intended, anyway.

Scorpius' didn't seem to care as much for he, on the way out, grabbed the Gryffindor boy's elbow and stopped him to say just loud enough for him to hear, "We should work up a schedule for this potion. I'll meet you in the library after dinner. And...Aubadon said you left something at his place. I'll give it to you then."

As Scorpius pulled away, that smug look settled into those perfectly pink pouts, Albus could literally feel the world crashing around him. His heart stopped and he couldn't breathe. Vaguely, he thought he heard a familiar voice, but through the drama of what the other had said, words were not something he could comprehend.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This chapter started off...good, then the middle was rough. Whatever. Read it, please? And I would LOVE it if I could have some reviews left for me!**

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A gentle, yet firm and adamant, shake to Albus' shoulder was what woke him. He could tell by the sore stiffness in that joint that someone had been trying to rouse him this way for quite awhile. Blinking his eyes rapidly, the boy looked up and around to try and determine his surroundings. To try and get an understanding of where he was and what was going on.

"Albus!"

The girlish shriek directly in his ear was enough to finish waking him. Albus flinched, shrinking back against the harsh coldness of the floor and reaching up to find the source of the voice. Once he located the gloss-slicked lips, he closed his palm firmly over them. His reprieve came instantly and now all he could hear was a muffled protest and a low, rumbling chuckle. "Please stop shouting, Rose..."

The room he was in came quickly into focus. He was currently staring up at a the familiar draping over his four-poster bed. The dulled gold and crimson did wonders to soothe his rapid heartbeat and he even managed a small smile. It was this that allowed him to shift his focus to his right-hand side, following the line of his arm towards the offending mouth.

Rose looked angry. Her brown eyes were flashing dangerously, even as Al rolled his own mossy ones. Slowly, he dropped his fingers, giving her a look that warned against more screeching. "I'm allowed to be worried, Albus! You've been out for nearly an hour!"

_An hour?_ Albus couldn't even remember passing out, let alone imagine having been in such a state for an hour. Why would he have...?

It was as he was turning to look at the other side of his bed, spotting Frank's nervous smile, that everything crashed down upon him. He sat up violently, pulling his hands up to press into his eyes to violently erase the image of a smirking Scorpius Malfoy looming before them. He remember now why he'd fainted. It wasn't a very good reason, but he wasn't trying to rationalize it at this point. He wasn't sure he'd be able to make sense of it, anyway.

"Y'alright, mate?" Frank questioned, throwing Rose a look of concern. Neither of them knew what was going on inside Albus' head, but they had to guess it wasn't good. He wasn't usually the type to just black out for no apparent reason. Both of them were now starting to regret their decision not to bring him to the hospital wing.

"Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine," the brunette said quietly, looking between his friends. The worry was plain on their faces and he knew he needed to say something quick to dispel it. "Uh...just got caught off-guard. Something Malfoy said..."

As they should have, both friends stiffened visibly. This was a great comfort to Albus as he felt a little more at ease with passing out like a complete ponce now. The mention that it was Malfoy's heightened his friends' alarm and now he felt as if he could actually tell them what happened.

But he would do so on his terms - relaxed and in a way that conveyed no unease whatsoever. Wiping away the grogginess from his eyes, Al pushed himself to a sitting position, then off the bed. "Look...it's not like I'm trying to hide who I'm attracted to or what gender I sleep with...," he said quietly, moving over to the bathroom in the dormitory. Save for his words, the room was quiet. No doubt everyone else was going to their classes. He pushed aside the concern that he should be as well and was content to be satisfied with the time alone. Clearly he had some things to work through.

The boy entered the bathroom, but left the door open so that the other two could still hear and see him as he washed off his face. The cool water cleared off the rest of the sleep-fuzzies addling his brain. "But I was a bit caught off guard...that Malfoy knows I slept with Zabini. And that he mentioned it so casually..."

"They're friends," Rose said instantly, moving from her position at the bedside for favor of sitting upon the mattress. "Of course Zabini would tell him. I'm not saying I approve of him speaking about it...but I'm not surprised, either."

Albus returned a moment later, arms crossed and eyes narrowed in defiance. He understood what his cousin was saying, but he still didn't like it. He just...couldn't shake that feeling he'd had when Malfoy had looked at him with that knowing gleam in his eye. It crushed his windpipe into submission, ceasing all breathing. It shocked his heart into not beating. Why? Why was he affected like this by some deliberate mention of his latest heartbreak? By someone he disliked to the core, nonetheless.

He had never cared what Scorpius thought of him. So why did he now?

Albus found himself extremely wary of going to the library that night. He wasn't sure he wanted to face Malfoy with his smug grin and his unquestionable knowledge. If Aubadon had told him one thing, he'd told him everything. Slytherins tended to be a bit chatty and...boastful. When they had something they were proud of or knew was a great accomplishment, they shared. And if sleeping with one of the Potter children wasn't worth bragging over, he wasn't sure what was.

It was mostly the fear of the other boy taunting him over his fresh wound that kept Al sitting in an abandoned classroom near the library, watching an old piece of parchment studiously. He crunched a bite out of his apple, eyes scanning the moving figures in the section labeled as the library. There weren't many, considering it was Friday and most students didn't like to study with the excitement of the pending weekend. Apart from the old, batty Madame Pince there were only four bodies. Three of them he couldn't have cared less about. It was the fourth, though, that had his heart pounding nervously.

He didn't like how out of control this was making him.

What he didn't like even more was just how calm Scorpius Malfoy seemed on the Marauder's Map. He just sat there at that table, even though dinner had officially ended half an hour ago and he was now technically late, cool as a cucumber and seemingly hard at work. How could he just...go on unfazed like that?! Shouldn't he be all in an uproar that it looked as if Albus was standing him up?

Sighing, the Gryffindor tossed his apple to a dark corner of the room and slipped the map back into his bag. The map that he had found in his father's things years ago. The map that had come quite in handy once he'd figured out how to use it. The map that allowed him to sneak around undetected in the middle of the night. The map that showed him places he could never dream of. The map that had first clued him into how Rose spent her time away from him. And the map that hr used in combination with the invisibility cloak James had finally relinquished to him to watch the prefect boys take their baths last year...

In essence, the Marauder's Map was like a good friend to him. When he had it in his hands, he didn't feel the need to be around someone. Studying it, besides sleep and shower time, was the only time he was content to be alone. Because he wasn't really _alone_, not with all of the little name scribbles floating around in the tattered pages. Not when he knee just where everyone in the castle was at that moment.

Before Albus knew it, his feet had unknowingly carried him out of the classroom and towards the library. He looked up at the door, giving himself one more moment to back out. Just to have the option. In the end, however, he pushed open the door and entered, heading for where he'd seen Scorpius on the map.

"Get distracted...?"

With a startled jump, Al set his bag onto the table. He gave himself the permission to look at the other boy, but only for a moment. He looked the same as ever - blonde, pale, and smug. Except...not smug in the way he usually did. It wasn't so flaunting and outward. Then again, here he wasn't really looking to impress anyone. His aire was almost...relaxed and teasing. Did he have the capacity for teasing?

With a small, almost nervous, nod, Albus sat down directly across from the Slytherin. "Sorry." He looked down now at the piece of parchment Malfoy had out beside the instruction book for the potion. "How...how's the schedule coming?" he asked quietly. His voice shook just a little bit, betraying just how much he lacked confidence right now. Why? What was he so nervous about exactly?

Scorpius didn't answer right off the bat. He instead reached down into his own bag, eyes never leaving the page he was reading. When he came back up, Albus was completely entranced, waiting to hear what he was going to say. For some reason he found himself waiting on bated breath for this guy and it just didn't add up….

"Here."

Albus shifted the focus of his gaze to the hand outstretched to him – instead of watching the way the long blonde locks fell into the other's studious, grey eyes. It took a moment for him to process what exactly was being held towards him. He had to actually physically hold the item before he fully understood it. "This is my…. My…." With a chuckle, he shook his head and turned the small silver band over in his fingers. It shouldn't have come as such a surprise to see the ring; after all he was aware that he had left it at Zabini's place. He had just thought he'd never see it again. He'd put it out of his mind and given up hope because he never wanted to see that man again. But here it was! The piece of jewelry shining like a beautiful beacon in his palm. He slipped it onto his finger with a bright, happy smile, which he then aimed up at Scorpius without hesitation. "Thank you. _So_ much." For the first time, he found himself looking at the Slytherin with a grateful attitude. "This ring…it means a lot to me. Thank you."

As his fingers traced over the small, red gems, he felt his eyes starting to glaze over with tears. He wasn't sure if he was crying out of happiness or what. All he knew was that the boy across from him was staring like he had just sprouted another head. "It's…. It's nothing. I figured it wasn't his type and it should probably be returned. It's not real silver, anyway. Don't know why you'd bother…."

Biting his lip, Albus shrugged and sniffed away his tears while slipping the ring onto his finger. "To me, it's the world. I don't care what it's made of…. Nevermind, you wouldn't understand." He snorted.

An action he instantly regretted the moment that steely look flashed over Scorpius' eyes. He knew he'd said something wrong. He'd just made the assumption that the Malfoy boy didn't appreciate anything but money. Which might have been true…but that wasn't something a person says to a person like that.

There was a long stretch of awkward silence between the two where Albus felt awkward and slightly scared and Scorpius worked studiously on writing. The tension in the air was thick and harsh and felt like prickly. Uncomfortable. So much so that Al actually considered walking away right now. It wasn't like he was of much help right now, anyway….

"I didn't peg you for it."

Albus frowned up at his partner for the project, not quite catching on. "…what? For what?" he asked quietly.

There was a condescending laugh that jolted the Gryffindor into scooting a little bit back in his chair. "For…for one of Aubadon's one night stands." The blonde slipped the piece of parchment into the book to hold his place before setting it aside. "Sure, you're a ponce and that's clear to see. But…you're the type of ponce that settles for that one true fuckin' soul, right? So what the hell were you doing with him? The Zabinis…they're not the type to settle down. Everyone knows that."

Suddenly Albus felt a strong urge to be the one working away. Anything would serve as a great distraction right now. There was no way he wanted to be having this conversation with someone he disliked so much. It was making his making his skin crawl. "Uh…." He shook his head, scratching at the prickly skin of his arm. "I didn't…. He asked me if…if I would go on a date. I just…. I thought maybe he could…that he would…." He shrugged and reached for the potion book.

"You thought he would go for you once he got a taste?" Scorpius let out a very un-Malfoy-like snort, reaching out to lay his hand over Al's on the book to stop his progress. "So you're one of those guys? The 'I know he'll come around; I can change him!' type? That I can believe…." He reached out with his other hand to grab the other's chin forcefully, pulling it up to look him in his brilliant emerald eyes. "Don't waste time on him," he whispered harshly, but with almost a tone of care behind it. "I've seen what it's like – waiting for him to come around. So…trust me. He's not worth it." He sneered again, any sentiment ebbing away from his features to return him to normal.

This was uncomfortable. This was…intimate and close and mawkish. Albus tried to wriggle out of the grip his face was in but found himself powerless. "O…okay," he said quietly, not brave enough to betray the shake of his timbre. "Thanks. Can…can we get to work again…? Please?"

_Or can we at least go somewhere more private…?_

His eyes snapped down to their hands touching, suddenly feeling like he was on fire. It was dangerous! They were stepping into very dangerous waters and Albus wasn't sure what was going to happen. He wasn't sure he wanted to find out, either. His thoughts were a horrible side effect to this…strange encounter they were having. The weird conversation and the unnecessary touching….

"Sure." Scorpius let go of the other's chin and pulled his hands away. "I didn't mean to make you feel…uncomfortable." He winked and that was the last of it. It was almost like nothing happened. Except for that wink that led to wandering thoughts.

Was that the purpose? Was that why he had winked? To get Al to think about him in unsavory ways? Why would he do that?

"You're gay, too." Albus said it on a breath, just as he'd realized it himself. "He fucked you, too." A small burble of a laugh came out, but it was more from disbelief than anything. The great Scorpius Malfoy liked to take it up the ass. And somehow that ruined his tough-guy, pristine exterior. It marred him and made him…almost on the same plane as himself.

But the question didn't faze the Slytherin in the way he had hoped. The blonde merely quirked a brow, violently grabbed back the book, and began studying it intently again. "Yes, he fucked me. It was…sloppy and experimental three years ago. And I won't ever do it again…. On that end." There was a small quirk to the corner of his lip that suggested a hidden smile. Maybe a fond emotion of remembrance. "Now that you know that wonderfully embarrassing part of me, feel free to spread the rumors as you wish. It's not as if many people respect me much as it stands."

There was a small pit of regret growing in the pit of Albus' belly. He wanted to apologize and pretend he hadn't heard any of this. That he had no idea what Scorpius' sex life was like. But there was a larger part that was curious more than anything. Curious if he had been in the same situation with Zabini once. Curious how that had shaped him now. Curious how many other boys he'd been with since. And curious to feel him on top. To see what he was like….

Nervously, Al ruffled at his already messy hair and shifted in his chair. This wasn't something he should be thinking about in such a public place. With such a person sitting right across from him…. "I should go. This is…. This…." He sighed and stood with a shake of the head. "I'm just gonna leave now."

"Suit yourself," the other snided, not at all bothered by his partner leaving. "And thanks for all of your help. I especially liked the part where you just sat there and prodded in on my sexuality."

There was no way to respond to that. Not any way where the Potter boy could retain his dignity. It was true, after all, and he couldn't justify why he had cared so much. "Right," was all he said before swiftly grabbing his bag and exiting the library. His feet were taking him as fast as they could while still keeping a walking pace. "Right...I'm a tosser. And I have no sense of control."

What had even happened in there? Albus had gotten nothing done. He showed up late, practically insulted his partner, and hadn't even contributed. This was possibly the least like him he'd ever been. School projects were where he usually thrived. But this one he hadn't brought to a good start so far. And he had absolutely no excuse for it.

"Stop."

The voice behind Albus wasn't necessarily loud or demanding. It was just there enough to catch his attention and cause him to do as the person asked. He halted his steps, staring down at his feet in slight shame.

"Why are you running away?" Scorpius' fluid voice housed a slight amount of concern. He placed a hand on the slightly-shorter boy's shoulder. "Are you scared that I'm like my friend?"

Despite the kind way the words were said, Al couldn't help but to find this Slytherin to be a bit…predatory. It was like he was fishing – using a lure to bring him in. It might have been working, too. There was a tug at those undeniable heartstrings of his to follow his words. To just go along blindly with whatever he wanted. And yet…he still had some sort of sensibility, didn't he?

Clearing his throat along with his head, the brunette turned around and took a step back from the other. He was even brave enough to look him in the eye for a moment. "No, I'm not," he said, his voice a little more confident than he'd thought he could muster at this point. What with his heart pounding in his ears and whatnot. "I know you're like your friend. I'm pretty sure all boys this age are. I've come to expect that by now. I'm not afraid of it."

Again, there was that smile that broke Scorpius' character. It was lascivious as one would expect, but something lingered behind it. "You're fucked up, aren't you, Potter?" he snarked, closing the space between them.

"Yeah, maybe. So what?" This time his voice was not so resilient. It was all dawning on him – this wasn't how partner projects were supposed to end up, this was someone he really could hate and should not be attracted to, he could smell the boy's breath, and he _really_ wanted to close that gap to taste it. He looked down again, trying not to inhale any more than he had to.

And then there was no space between them.

It was all smashed lips and brick scraping exposed flesh. Rough and impersonal and teeth scraping lips for entry. Tongue slicked tongue in a heated desperation that was completely unmatched by anything Albus had experienced thus far. It was more than just sex emanating between them. It was passion and fucking _understanding_. A trade – need for need. And it felt…great. For that moment it would, he knew. But he would regret this later. There was something that would bug him later. This was cold and distant, as much as it was fiery and sexy. And that was the part that would get the young Potter. He couldn't do this and feel the same way he had thrice over the summer. He just couldn't do that again.

No matter how good it felt to be pressed back into this dark corner with the outcast Scorpius Malfoy ravaging him, this still wasn't love.

Groaning, Al pushed against the blonde's chest. He made a small mental note that the muscles beneath his palms were _fit_ as _fuck_. But that was beside the point right now. The _point_ was that he needed to end this. He pushed a little harder, using more force and causing Scorpius to stumble back a few steps in obvious surprise.

It was then that Albus made a break for it. For a Gryffindor, he had a pretty cowardly streak. This was one of those moments. Anxiety flooding his veins, he just…ran. He ran as fast as he could, as _far_ as he could away from this boy. Away from a new, inevitable heartbreak.

Because that was undoubtedly how this would end. Again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Just a reminder to please leave reviews! They would mean the world to me 3**

* * *

_"I know you're young and it will still be awhile before you can appreciate these, but..."_

_It was Christmas Day, 2012. Albus had been seven, his brother James nine, and their younger sister Lily five. It was true, all of them were very young. But they were also very smart for their ages. They weren't running around like their cousins, brandishing their gifts to anyone who would look. The Potter children were privileged, but they weren't spoilt. That was something Ginny and Harry never wanted. But they weren't ones to judge those in the family who didn't adhere to the same traditions._

_"I thought we got all our gifts, Mummy," Albus spoke gently from across the sitting room. He was nestled safely in Papa Arthur's lap, watching the new Christmas special of their favorite Muggle television show - Doctor Who. By then, it was swiftly becoming a tradition for the two, not matter how basic it might have been. His eyes sparkled with an entirely different light, now, however as the young boy stared at the small boxes his mother held._

_With an endearing smile, Ginny reached over with her free hand to grab her husband's. She squeezed it gently; lovingly. "We wanted to save these for last. They're very special. I want you to understand that above anything."_

_"Come, now, Ginny. They're children! All they want are toys to play with. Just give them their present and let them do with it what they want!" Harry smiled down at the children, attempting to settle the worry of breaking expectations clear on their faces._

_Something Albus hadn't really understood passed between his parents then. It was a look they shared where they seemed to be speaking silently to one another. He had giggled, but it was wasn't really a funny occurrence. It was something like hate and screams they were holding back with just the tips of their teeth._

_"Fine," Ginny said on a small, restrained whisper after a few moments. She passed out the small boxes to her three children, then sat back and crossed her arms to mentally protect herself. "Go ahead. Open them, then."_

_The children wasted no time on making sure their mother was okay. They were young, after all. They ripped open the packaging eagerly and stared down at the jewelry boxes in confusion, then shared those looks with their siblings. "What are they?" James asked quietly, lifting the lid on his and revealing a gorgeous silver ring with small citrine stones laid out on a line, broken up by diamonds every other gem. "Rings?"_

_"They're promise rings," Harry explained patiently, though it was rather obvious that he wasn't fond of this gift choice. "Your mother picked them out. Each of yours has your birth stone...and they're not real silver or real diamonds. But she wanted you to have them... Even though you'll probably lose them right away."_

_Anger slipping into her features, Ginny cut her husband a look. "We'll keep them in a safe place for you until you're old enough," she said firmly, eyeing the way Lily was picking at the peridot gems on her band. "I just... I saw them and I thought they were beautiful. When you're older, they should be something special to you. I want them to be a reminder of a promise to wait for love. When you're older, you can give them away to your love and it should remind you both to wait..." She looked over at Harry who was now smirking almost haughtily. "Stop looking at me like that!"_

_"Mummy, what are we waiting for? I'm confused..."_

_"I told you, Gin! They're too young!" Rolling his eyes rather dramatically, Harry slipped out of his chair and knelt down next to his children. "One day you'll understand, Albus. You all will." Smiling fondly, the man held out his hand for the boxes. "But for now, how about we keep ahold of them. Okay?"_

_James was the first to give to his ring. "Okay!" was all he said before getting up and running off to join the rest of the children outside. He seemed more than eager to give rid of this present._

_Lily was next, shutting her box with a small bit of resentment before placing it in her father's hand. "Okay... It's pretty, though, Mummy." She smiled brilliantly, always the one to light up a room. She didn't run off, though. Sensing something of sadness in her mother's demeanor, she crawled up into her lap and snuggled up to her chest._

_Albus was last. He just kept staring down at the rubies in his ring, head cocked to the side. Albus was much more sentimental than his siblings and most of his cousins - even at this age. But it wasn't even that Ginny had seemed so happy and pleased with these gifts. The reason he kept holding on was deeper than that. It was a longing. He already loved this little piece of jewelry and what it stood for, even if he didn't quite understand it yet. And he _vowed_ that he would wait for whatever this love pertained to._

_"Can I keep it?" Al whispered breathlessly, looking up at his father with the most pleading of eyes. There was something unquenchable in them that opened a small window to his heart._

_Harry picked up on this straight away, a hint of a smile coming to his lips. He kept his voice down, as well, though so as not to let his wife hear that at least one of her children had appreciated the gift. He didn't want her to have the satisfaction. "Sure. I'll get you a chain for it until the band fits your finger." He leaned over, pressing a kiss to the boy's forehead. "Now go finish your show with Papa; I think the commercials are over."_

Over and over again, Albus turned his ring around in his fingers. Since that Christmas, he'd never stopped wearing it. Once he was big enough for it to fit his finger, he tossed the chain and let it remain on his finger. As far as he knew, he was the only one of his siblings to even know where it was right now.

After all, it had come to mean quite a bit to him. It was a reminder of the last Christmas before the tension of the divorce had started. It was the last Christmas Grandma Molly had allowed the television on for the holiday.

But above all, it signified a hope on love that his mother had hoped for. It had meant waiting for love to have sex. Until that Muggle boy had managed to charm him out of his clothes and comfort zone simultaneously at the beginning of the summer, that was. Even so, it still meant love and that was why it meant so much to Albus.

It was also why he was so willing to forget it existed once he'd left it at Zabini's place. His hope had been slightly dashed then. But now...

Sighing, the Potter boy fell back against his pillows. He slipped the ring back on his finger, unable to wipe away the small smile set onto his lips. Why he was smiling, he wasn't sure, but he knew it had something to do with Scorpius Malfoy. Something to do with the way that boy had kissed him the night before.

That kiss had kept him up all night. His body sagged and his eyes burned but he couldn't help but to not regret it. He knew that if he had fallen asleep, he would have dreamed of Malfoy. And he knew he couldn't risk that. Not if he wanted to get over the Slytherin before this even began.

"You _do _know what time it is, right, Al?"

"No clue," Albus answered in nothing more than a mumble. His mind was too distracted for normal tones or reading clocks.

The curtains around the four poster were pulled aside almost violently, revealing a blast of light and a rather shocked Frank Longbottom. He took in the sight of his best friend, still dressed in his robes from the day before and and looking like a ghost, his mouth open slightly agape. "What...is _wrong_ with you?"

The words stung and they sounded more incredulous than worried. Albus winced, not able to meet the other's eyes. He merely sat up and rubbed at his own before planting his feet on the floor and standing slowly. "I'm fine," he said, the words slightly broken at the end by a yawn. "Just...didn't sleep well last night. Or, you know, at all..." He accompanied this very nonchalant statement with the action of dressing to show that it was no big deal.

Even though on the inside he was still absolutely freaking out!

"So if you weren't sleeping, what were you still doing in bed? It's nine and, in case you've forgotten, we have a match today. The first match of the year! That's kind of important?" Clearly, the though that his best friend had forgotten this disturbed Frank very much. The fact that he was staring at Albus like he had two heads was a great clue to that. "You _know _Lily will be pissed if you forgot! She'll give you a lecture about being on your best game and whatnot. And that's something nob-"

"Frankie! _Merlin_, I get it! Shut the fuck up." Rolling his eyes, Albus quickly dropped the Muggle clothing he had been about to don in favor of his red and gold Quidditch uniform. He slipped eagerly out of his old clothes and redressed before he'd even realized anything was amiss.

The silence was staggering when he did realize it, though. Slowly, his eyes rose to meet Frank's and he grimaced at the confusion and anger in them. "Obviously you're not fine," the other boy hissed and crossed his arms over his chest.

These friends never fought. Albus wasn't the fighting type to begin with. He didn't like to create conflict and that most likely stemmed from the constant conflict in his home growing up. So the fact that he had initiated this was surprising enough. He hung his head in shame and shook it slowly back and forth. There was no explanation for this...except for maybe the truth. Did he really want to reveal that, though?

"Come out with it, Al. It must be eating you up inside so...go on." Despite being mad at the other boy, Frank took a seat upon his bed and waited. He was a good friend - more Hufflepuff than Gryffindor, most thought - and that's why Albus adored him so much.

Tying his robes closed, Albus shrugged and avoided looking at Frank. "I…. I don't even know where to begin, Frankie!" he sighed heavily. He really didn't. How was he supposed to tell his _best friend_ that he was having weird feelings about the fucking _Malfoy_ boy after just a small stint in their term-long project?! "I…. I just…." He threw his hands up in the air, heading for the door. "Don't even fuckin' ask, Frankie. It's not worth it."

There was no way he could explain it. If Al started, he wasn't sure he could stop going on and on about this boy. There was something growing inside of him and it was why he couldn't sleep the night before. All of these emotions were clashing inside of him and he was pretty sure he didn't like the outcome. He didn't want to end up growing attached to another asshole who would fuck him and then bail the moment he could. This wasn't something he could handle and he knew that. So why was his heart palpitating so harshly when that lithe blonde strolled past him? He was wearing his Slytherin scarf – a very subtle form of house spirit for him – and he looked gorgeous….

Trying to remain calm, the Gryffindor rushed to his table. But he found he couldn't take his eyes off of the other boy. The boy who lingered behind his eyes every time he closed them. He sat down hard, shaking the bench and causing the girl to his side to complain about nearly spilt pumpkin juice. "Yeah, sorry," he mumbled and reached for a piece of toast that he knew he wouldn't take a single bite out of.

"You're not on your game today, Allie. I can already tell."

Slowly, Albus raised his eyes and noticed that the female squeal to his sigh was from his sister. He stared at her for a moment, scared of her wrath as a captain. But he was honestly too tired to care at this point. Eventually he lowered his green eyes from hers, throwing the piece of toast off to the side. "I am fine, Lily. I can still deliver a good match."

In the matter of a few seconds, Lily Potter, the youngest of the children but no doubt the fiercest, was turned on the bench to face her brother with an unmatched anger in her eyes. "That's not enough for me, Albus, and you know it! I can't have my Seeker distracted. You're supposed to be agile and...and see damn near invisible shit! If you're distracted - well, use your goddamn brain, I'm sure you can figure out the outcome!"

In a huff, Lily stood and tossed her flame of red hair of her shoulder. "If you're not on the pitch in an hour in a more attentive state...I'll replace you. I've already got people lined up who are eager to be on _my_ winning team." And with that last retort, she was strolling off like she owned the world.

And today, it was almost like she was. This match meant everything to Gryffindor house and they knew she could win it.

And if Albus messed this up today, he could end up the most hated person in the entire school. So...he needed to resolve this mix of emotions before his hour was up. Or he could kiss the rest of the season goodbye.

Abruptly, he stood from the table and raced across the Great Hall. He didn't even stop to think about what he was doing. In the matter of a few seconds, he was at the Slytherin table, tugging on Scorpius Malfoy's silver and green scarf. "I... I need you. To, uh...to come with me. I mean! Um, I mean I need to talk to you...in...in private."

_Smooth._

With a slow and beautiful grace, Scorpius raised himself up from his bench and quirked an eyebrow at the Gryffindor before him. He wore a calculating look, as if he was trying to decide whether this boy was currently worth his time or not. "Lead the way," he said on no more than a whisper and gestured forward.

For some reason, Albus found his cheeks heating up as he walked out of the Great Hall. He knew all of the spots that were empty at this time of day. And he was already on edge from being companionless all morning. It felt good to sneak behind a suit of armor and into the room behind, reaching behind to grab the blonde's hand in order to tug him into following. The human contact was much needed and felt like heaven.

"Not that I don't love this dusty hole in the wall...," Scorpius spoke softly, their hands still clasped. He looked down at them for a moment, smirked, then raised his eyes up to meet Albus' nervous ones. "You said you wanted to speak to me. Well?"

Suddenly, Al's mouth was like cotton. He couldn't speak because he knew his voice was dried out. But his hands...they were ready and able. They were willing to show this boy just what he was feeling, even if he couldn't put it into words. With his fingers fisted in that annoyingly Slytherin scarf, he pulled Scorpius closer so that their lips were just barely touching. It was an invitation for more and he so badly hoped the other would take it. He wanted him to moisten his dry mouth and give him the right words to express what he wanted.

Because he still didn't know what that really was.

With a chuckle, Scorpius did just that. He leaned in to seal their lips together, though he held back quite a bit of the passion from last night. This time it was testing and questioning. Trying to see what boundaries there were. He gently cupped Al's cheek in his palm, pulling him in closer with a satisfied mewl.

This nice, sweet, almost innocent kiss was enough to clear away all cloudiness from Albus' mind. He stepped back, taking in a deep and energetic breath. It was like he'd slept all night as he should have! Was it the Malfoy boy that had done that to him or the solution that had popped into his head?

"Are you going to run off again, Potter? There's only so much of this whiplash I can take from your emotional twists and turns." The words were said gently enough and with an air of sarcasm. Yet something like genuine frustration lay behind them. "If I were anyone else, I might start to take offense to you kissing me and ditching."

"You kissed me!" The forcefulness in Albus' voice surprised them both. His eyes widened and Scorpius even went so far as to take a small step back from him, hands half-raised in submission. "You...you initiated the kiss, okay? Sorry... I'm nervous about this," said softly, following the other boy in his step back towards the exit. "Whatever this is..."

All Al wanted was to voice his compromise. But his tongue wasn't working the way he wanted it to. He didn't know how to start! And that kiss... All he could think to say was how much he wanted more.

Shaking his head slowly, Albus forced himself to open his mouth and just _speak_. "I couldn't sleep last night, okay? All I could think about was that kiss. That fucking amazing _kiss_. And I-"

"I could tell how amazing it was by the way you ran away..." Scorpius raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. "An unusual way of proclaiming your desire to jump my bones, don't you think?"

_Jump his bones...?_

"What?" he intoned rather witlessly for someone of his intelligence. Immediately he corrected himself and snorted, "I ran off because you are...who you are. You're Scorpius Malfoy - the antisocial Slytherin asshole. And...I think I've had enough of Slytherin assholes to last me a lifetime. You can blame your good friend Aubadon for that one."

Somewhere along the way, Albus must have said something insulting. Scorpius' face now looked as red as Al's robes and his fists were balled at his sides. "Why does everyone think I'm antisocial?" he hissed just as the Gryffindor went to take back what he'd said. "You know what, Potter? If I'm such a turn off, what are we doing here?"

That one he just could not answer. What was he doing here? Just telling this boy he found him very enticing but he couldn't act in it because he was afraid of being hurt again? "I..."

"Should I leave?" the other boy asked softly, nodding towards the exit again. He was just so eager to get out of here, wasn't he? Perhaps he was just as ashamed of this?

With a sigh, Albus shrugged and avoided meeting his eyes. "If you want to. I'm just trying to tell you...that for some reason I really like you and I'm not sure what to do with that. Except for...asking a strange favor of you."

"I will _not_ be your boyfriend," Scorpius said vehemently, closing all distance between the two of them and pressing the other against the wall. "I don't do the boyfriend thing. Remember? I'm an asshole."

In this close proximity, Albus once more felt as he was struggling for air. He was literally getting drunk off the breath shared between them. All that came out was, "I know..."

"What's your brilliant solution then, Potter? We both know you have one. You're not the type to ask favors otherwise."

Maybe this was a bad idea overall. Albus sighed and rolled his eyes, but inside he was a wreck. Even though he had told himself not to invest himself in this much, he couldn't help but to feel slightly hurt already. "I don't want you to be my boyfriend. No one would approve of that...we both know it. I just... I thought maybe we could work out a deal. One where you don't have to be even remotely invested, and I still get to feel like you are. It'll be like a...a game of pretend. Where you get to have sex with me..."

Albus wasn't really sure that anything could shock Scorpius. He didn't seem like the type that _could_ be stunned into silence. But here he currently was - staring at him like he'd just said he had a hoo-hah instead of a wee-wee. His mouth was slightly open and he just kept looking between the floor and Al's eyes, confused. Or bewildered. It was hard to judge what emotions those steely grey eyes held.

"Say something...please..." It wasn't that odd of a concept. Was it?

Sighing softly, Scorpius raised his hands in the air - seeming like he was at a complete loss for words. But then he spoke, his words sending a chill through Albus' blood. "And what exactly makes you think that I have a desire to fuck you? Because I kissed you? Because it would be an _honor_? You think very highly of yourself, don't you, Potter?"

Was Albus not gorgeous? Was that not the reason that he'd been having such trouble over the summer? Was that not why boys wanted to have him but not keep him?

"I suppose I do," he said softly and hunched his shoulders in a pathetic shrug. "I just figured…that you seem like the kind of guy who doesn't want to be tied down. And if there's chemistry here, I refuse to be fucked and left in the dust again." Albus was fully aware that he sounded desperate and pathetic. But what else was he supposed to do to change things in his life? After all, where was he going to find a guy who genuinely wanted to be with him? Pretending just seemed like the better option at this point.

And maybe Scorpius was starting to come to this realization, as well. "And what exactly would this deal entail? Besides getting to ravage you…."

His heart a flutter, Al closed the small distance between them and wrapped his arms around the Slytherin's neck. He allowed his fingers to play in the silver-blonde hairs that cascaded in the lightest of curls into the loose and reckless ponytail at the base of the alabaster pale neck. "All you have to do…is set up some dates in the Room of Requirement. No one has to know…. And then afterwards you can have your way with me. Whatever you want." He sealed his explanation with a small kiss, feeling like a punch-drunk teenager. Just as he should have at such an age. Even if this was fake and the feelings would be fake, the way just the possibility of it made him feel….

"This is absolutely nuts," Scorpius chuckled, but didn't back away. He might have been thinking it over, but it was impossible to really tell. Al just kept quiet and waited, afraid of spoiling anything if he were to open his mouth. "Fine, I'll do it. But you are crazy and…you're lucky I've been told good things about your perfectly tight ass. And I'm _dying_ to try it…."

Well if that wasn't romance, Albus wasn't sure what was. He cleared his throat and looked down at the floor. "Right.… Anyway, I have the probably the biggest match of the year to get to and…my sister will kill me if I'm late." He leaned up for one more, small kiss. "I want our first date to be tonight. Plan me something fancy…. Consider it my prize for winning today. And I'll make it worth your while."

Feeling like a sly, little minx, Al turned right on his heel and walked out of the small room. He ignored the fact that Scorpius cried out after him or that he told him he couldn't possibly win today. He was just being a Slytherin and it even brought a small smile to his lips.

Everything he had doubted or worried over was resolved. The resolution might not have been dream-worthy or something people would strive for. But this was perfect for _him_. He was happy with this deal because…he could work with it. He could pretend that what they were doing was good for him and it was real. He could probably even coax a fake 'I love you' out of the stone-cold Malfoy. And for a moment…that made him feel truly good. Like he was on top of the world….


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. It's been awhile, but I have a good excuse. My wife bought me a Microsoft tablet for my birthday and I had to wait for the keyboard. Anyone who has typed on a touch surface knows how hard it is to do much. But I have the keyboard now and... here we are! Hopefully I can keep updating quickly!**

**Please read and enjoy! I would love for you to leave me reviews, as well. They make me write faster, I assure you!**

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"Stop day-dreaming, Albus! I need you to end this game while we're still ahead!"

Lily's voice was shrill and Albus couldn't wait until the match was over so he didn't have to hear it any longer. She kept zooming by him, criticizing how he'd just barely missed being hit by a bludger or how he could have so _easily_ caught the Snitch back there. And now, as they were neck-and-neck in points, she was urging him to be faster. Did she not know that this tiny, gold ball was extremely hard to find for a reason?!

Rolling his eyes, Al resumed his search for the ball. He'd spotted it a little earlier in the game – probably close to an hour ago now – but it had flitted away before he had the chance to go after it. And he hadn't been able to find it since. It wasn't because he was distracted or wasn't trying. It was just staying out of sight today.

Honestly, he was the opposite of distracted right now. Albus was content. He was actually sort of genuinely happy. Something about his meeting with Malfoy had been reassuring. His heart was up in the clouds, and if he rose up high enough he might be able to reach it. He might also be able to escape his nag of a sister. Reading his mind, his father's vintage Firebolt – the one that had been passed down to James and to him after he had graduate and would be passed down to Lily after he himself left Hogwarts – rose higher up into the air. Soon all he could see were red and green specks of people rapidly flying around below him cheered on by the pinpricks of black cheering them on eagerly.

But none of them mattered right now. He may have been a _little_ less distracted by the…Malfoy problem. But at the same time, he now had a new wavering to his attention. The more he thought about it, the worse the distraction affected him. He just couldn't put out of his mind that later…he could really truly lose himself in something. Something he just might care about eventually. Something he didn't have to think too much about. This was their deal. He could just pretend that he was falling in love and Malfoy was allowed to remain blissfully ignorant.

He just couldn't wait for it to be dark so he could run away into his fantasy world where everything could be as he imagined. And no one could tell him otherwise. No one could be there to break his heart because…it wouldn't be real.

And then there was that flash of gold. That flash of gold that Albus searched every second for during these matches. Today was the exception, but he still had that Potter luck. For some reason it always followed him around. Today it was a blessing and he wouldn't take it for granted. Grinning, the boy shot forward and just slightly upwards. The Snitch matched his pace as soon as it realized it was being followed. It wasn't likely to make this easy, but that didn't matter. This incredibly thrilling chase was why Al was a Seeker to begin with. This rush, this _race_ was the great thing that made his heart pound manically. It was the rashest thing he did in his calm and studious life!

It just made him feel so alive.

In that rush of feelings and pure adrenaline, it was all over. Somehow, Albus had managed to catch up to the Golden Snitch. This was the part that he always missed. In the flash of a second, he could end it all and not even realize what had been happening. It was like his instinct would take over and he would suddenly be the perfect son, brother, teammate, heir that he was expected to be.

It was magical.

His fingers were closing tightly around it and he was clutching it tightly to his chest. Vaguely, he could hear the cheers and the shouts that signified that the game was over. They were like ringing bells in his ear – beautiful and exciting, yet mildly annoying. All of those people cheering for him…they were like fans. He didn't want fans. He wasn't anything special. There was just this code written into his being for this game. Quidditch was blood on both sides – it was just something he was born to do. But it wasn't particularly something he _liked_ to do. It was more expected of him than anything.

Extremely humble, the boy touched down onto the ground. He didn't even look at all of his teammates, he got the gist of their feelings towards his winning catch by the harsh claps to his shoulder and the crushing hugs around any part of him they could get a handle on. They were ecstatic and oh, he just wished he could match their level of enthusiasm. Sheepishly, he forced smiles at all of them and nodded through the congratulations.

But the moment he got the chance, Albus was eagerly ducking out of the pitch. This was common, it was his ritual after all! Everyone expected it by now. He did what he was supposed to do and then…he left. Like a little mouse stealing a piece of cheese, narrowly avoiding death by a trap, and then calmly skittering away.

"That was a close one, Allie."

Albus had just finished showering off in the locker room when he heard Rose's voice ringing off the tiled walls of his stall. He cracked a crooked smile and pulled a towel around his waist before stepping around the partition. The girl with her crop of wildly curly auburn hair stood with her arms crossed, leaning against the wall just by the door. "I know. I wasn't sure I was going to find it. But...I did. And now it's over and now…I can relax."

As he thought about what this relaxing could entail tonight, Al's smile grew to a wide grin. He forced his eyes down so he couldn't make eye-contact with his cousin and shrugged. More than anything right now, he didn't want her to be able to read him like an open book. She was the only one who could, after all.

"Albus you're hiding something from me!"

And there she went again with that close-cousin shit. Right on fucking queue. "I am not," Albus said as nonchalantly as he could. "I'm just glad we won today. It was almost a miracle. And now Lily has no reason to kick me off the team. I'm safe for another impossibly long season." He rolled his eyes, trying to be convincing but knowing it was like lying to himself.

With an eye-roll of her own, Rose stepped closer to Albus and tilted her head to the side. "I don't know what you're up to, Albus Severus Potter, but I know it's something. And…if you're keeping it from me, that means something is definitely up. You don't keep secrets from me. I'm your girl." Smirking, she took careful steps forward until they were toe-to-toe. She used her lithe finger to tilt her cousin's chin up so they could meet one another's gaze. "You know you can always tell me anything, right?" she whispered gently while caressing his cheek. Usually she was the master of persuasion and her voice was like a honey trap. But Al knew this girl too well. He knew not to fall for her tricks.

Sighing softly, the Potter boy stepped back out of her reach and took the towel off of his waist. Completely unfazed by his cousin's presence, he began to get dressed in a rush. "I know, Rose…but I just don't have anything I feel the need to talk about right now. Alright? It's not you…I'm just not in a sharing mood."

Albus wasn't sure who he should even tell about this. He and Malfoy hadn't even begun…whatever this was. Their _deal_, so he wasn't sure what to even say about it yet. And who was he supposed to be able to trust with that sort of secret? That humiliating secret. _"Nah, Malfoy and I aren't dating or anything. We just do these secret date things. And then…he fucks me. It's pretty damn spectacular."_ Was that what he was supposed to say? Because that sounded…a bit sleezy.

"Fine, fine. I won't pry, then." Like a good friend should, Rose waved off the situation. She put it completely out of her mind. "Everyone will be celebrating tonight – all night! You're going to join us, right?" Her eyes shone with mischief and she looked ready to be up all night drinking and mingling. "Frankie already said he'd brought a bottle of Firewhiskey this year for things like this. Says he's been hiding it up in your room this entire time. Can you believe that? That he wouldn't share this whole time?" Her smile reached out towards Albus, threatening to choke him with its sickly deviance.

Frowning, Albus considered it for a moment, looking out the small window in the locker room. He hadn't quite noticed how dark it was getting when he'd walked over here. The match must have lasted longer than he'd thought for the sky was now a delicate orangey pink color. The sun was just setting, meaning most likely everyone in his house would skip dinner and smuggle in food from the kitchens. There would be no escaping the mass of people cluttered in the Gryffindor common room tonight.

And there would be no chance he could sneak out until rather late….

"Yeah, I guess," he said resignedly, seeing no way out of the celebrations. Though he knew he would be eagerly awaiting his "date" the entire time. No doubt he'd be fidgety a draw attention to himself. But he was an anxious person to begin with…. Maybe no one would notice.

Or maybe a shot of Firewhiskey could help him to relax a little.

Smiling as if nothing was a matter with the world, Albus strolled over to Rose and took her hand. He leaned up – for she was a bit taller than he thanks to her father's genes – to press a small kiss to her cheek. "Well, let's go celebrate. I'm sure the rest of the team's just gone up with their Quidditch robes still on. No doubt we're missing something mildly exciting already."

Rose laughed beautifully, no doubt having perfected the attractive tinkling sound in the mirror for quite some time. "Do I sense a slightly cynical and resenting tone to your voice, Allie?" she noted, leading them out of the locker room and onto the grounds. "Sometimes it's hard to tell with you, you know…."

With a shrug, Al quietly walked beside his cousin. He didn't want to say anymore because he was afraid she still might pick up on his excitement and anxiousness for later that night. He was afraid that if she started to poke around, eventually she would figure things out. And that wouldn't bode well for any of them. She would hate him. Easily, Scorpius Malfoy was the one that Rose hated the most at this school. It was a hate ingrained into her by her parents, no doubt. Maybe Al's father was okay to forgive Draco Malfoy for the years of hateful words and dubious actions, but the Weasleys were easily more comfortable holding a grudge. They still told stories of their school years.

In no time, they two of them had reached the common room. The instant the Fat Lady let them inside, they were immediately overcome with loud cheering and the heat that came from such excitement. It felt warm and inviting, which was hard to ignore when they all began to chant his name. A cup of something amber in color was shoved into his hand before he'd even made it two feet inside. He sniffed the contents and smirked appreciatively at the distinctively alcoholic scent to it. Not that he made a habit of drinking…but tonight it was a welcome vice. He took a sip, wincing as it burned the back of his throat and stepped further inside.

"Oi, where'd you go, mate?" Frank came barreling towards him, arms open wide as if he was soaking in the atmosphere of the cramped room. "Everyone thought you weren't going to join us for the party! Imagine that, our star Seeker running away!" The other boy stopped beside his friend, a brow quirked at him. Albus knew he was being analyzed – just to make sure that he was stable, something must have seemed off – but he didn't let the small smile on his lips waver. "You wouldn't disappear tonight. That's what I told everyone."

"Well, you were right," Al said with a nod, searching around for something to eat. He'd just now realized that the longevity of the match had caused him to miss lunch as well as dinner. His stomach was grumbling, but it was also filled with a slight fluttering that he could only think to attribute to what would come later that night. "Is there anything to eat? I'm starved," he muttered.

An open packet of crisps was soon hovering under his nose, a red-headed girl with a quirked eyebrow holding them out to him. "How is it that you always manage to turn the match around at the last possible second?" Lily questioned and crossed her free arm over her body, tucking it under the other.

"Just lucky, I guess," Albus said in his sickliest sweet voice. "How close was it?" He hadn't paid attention to the final score, but he knew it had to have been close if his sister was confronting him about it. He took one of the crisps, chewing it with a small smile. Remaining oblivious.

"Fuck lucky, Albus." Visibly frustrated, Lily lowered the bag and narrowed her eyes fully. "If the Sytherins had scored just _three_ more goals…we would have lost. That's how close it was. Do you understand me? Your job is to end the match as _quickly_ as possible! Not to just dawdle around in the clouds and wait for something good to happen to you. Not to wait until we're losing at 340 to 220! One day there won't be luck! And then we will lose…and I _will_ kick you off the team, no matter how much Dad yells at me about it. Clear?"

Lily's voice was venom coursing through Albus' veins. He wanted to explode on her so bad. He wanted to yell and scream and _hit_ her. Really, he just wanted to tell her off for allowing the Slytherins to pass them so horribly in points. She was the Keeper, for bloody sakes! Ultimately, she had the most control over whether the other team would score any points! But no one was commenting on that, were they?!

Albus' fist not closed around the drink was clenched angrily at his side. He desired so badly to just…raise it and clout his sister on the side of the head. Knock some sense into her, maybe.

In the end, however, he restrained himself. A sneer of derision locked onto his face, Albus drank down the rest of what was in the cup at his side. It tingled through him, warming him a little and giving him the courage to turn without a word and just walk away. He heard Rose and Frank yelling behind him, trying to encourage him to forget what his sister had said and return to the party. He didn't listen, however. He just kept right on going to the dormitory and stormed upstairs.

They knew not to follow him when he was angry like this, but he couldn't shake the feeling that they were right behind him. For good measure, Al locked the door as he entered his room and went straight for the bed. Though he felt like lying down and sleeping for years, this wasn't his intended goal. Instead of sitting down upon the mattress, he reached underneath it for the two things he always hid there. He slid the Invisibility Cloak around his shoulders, his body disappearing beneath him. For the moment, however, he left his head out as he set the piece of tattered parchment upon his rumpled bedspread.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he muttered down at the map, sighing in content as the words began to scrawl across the paper. His friend was opening up to him again, showing him its secrets. "Where are you, Malfoy?" he whispered, scanning the extensive layout for any sign of the name. Almost all of the Slytherins were in their common room, so he wouldn't have been able to spot him there if he'd tried. But there could be a possibility that he was elsewhere…. He could be setting up their date.

But he wouldn't be able to find him there, either. The Room of Requirement didn't show up on the map. Biting his lip, Al checked that section of the school – just in case. And it was a good thing he had. Just as his eyes scanned the section of blank wall that housed the room, he glimpsed the name just as it disappeared.

The brightest grin Albus could muster spread over his lips. He felt dizzy and giddy and had a desire to race out of the room and towards the corridor that housed the room. But he had a little bit of restraint left. If he had consumed maybe twice the amount of alcohol that he had, maybe he would no longer care. In this moment, however, he still had a bit of dignity to retain.

Coolly, he muttered a soft "mischief managed" towards the paper and shoved it into his pocket. He then flipped the cloak up over his head and disappeared completely from sight. He would have to be careful with how he escaped Gryffindor Tower, but if he concentrated he could be out in now time.

Taking a deep breath, he descended the stairs towards the common room and looked around at all the happy people. Somewhere in a far-off corner, he spotted Rose by her uniquely red hair, legs wrapped around the waist of a boy he couldn't quite pick out. Their faces were melded together like they were one person. This wasn't exactly a surprising thing, though. Rose got friendly with many boys at many parties. It was routine to see her pressed up against someone like this.

What wasn't routine was to see that it was Frank Longbottom. As he was winding through the crowd carefully, the two broke apart for a small minute to look at each other. From here he could visibly see his both of his best friends' faces. There was something that passed between them like they were questioning whether this was something they should be doing. Both of their eyes were soft and calculating. They then cast looks over Rose's shoulder to make sure…of _something_ before they resumed mashing their lips together.

Albus was shocked. There was a moment there where he couldn't move because he had to make sure he was seeing this right. His smile slid away and something like…fear thrilled through him. He wasn't sure towards what exactly, but he knew that this could be a bad thing in the end.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to carry on. He swallowed hard the lump in his throat and made the rest of the way for the portrait hole. After he'd slipped out, the Fat Lady called out demanding to know who was there, but there was no way he was going to reveal himself. He slipped through the seventh floor corridors, silent, invisible, and completely undetected.

In no time he was staring at the blank wall that housed the room most students here knew nothing about. But Albus had been here many times. James had weaseled the location out of their father when they were younger and since then all of the Potter children had used it at least once. Al suspected that he used it more than the other two. He was more introverted, after all, and liked to find places to hide. This was the best one in the castle. It would cater to a person's every need.

"The room that contains Scorpius Malfoy," Albus whispered under his breath, pacing in front of the wall. He repeated this action twice more and turned to quickly look at the nondescript wooden door that had appeared.

Once more, Albus' heart was pounding. He was nervous, truly nervous. This could go really well…or it could go incredibly wrong. And that terrified him, really. Normally, he wouldn't put himself out there like this. He was more reserved than that and definitely would never put himself into the way of such a risk. He could end up very hurt here….

But to avoid that, all he had to was avoiding feeling. He had to keep telling himself…that this wasn't going to be real. If he remained under that careful rule, he could be alright.

Gently, he turned the handle on the door and peeked inside. Immediately, the warm glow of subtle candlelight enveloped him. It was warm inside the room and smelled vaguely like baking sweets. Like his mother's home at Christmastime. Smiling with just one corner of his mouth, he entered the room and closed the door behind him, bracing his back against it.

The rest of the room mimicked the warmness he was starting to feel. It was only faintly lit, but it was enough to be able to make out even the smallest of details. Like the shimmering of the silver specks in the latte colored tablecloth upon the small, round table directly in front of him that housed only two chairs around it. To the right of that was a small kitchen that was just big enough to make a decent meal in. His eyes scanned further into the room, noticing a chest of drawers, which caused him to tilt his head to the side. What could be in there, he wasn't all too sure. But he could easily forget that as he focused on the bed beside it.

He blinked, surprised to be faced so suddenly with the weight of his plan. Swallowing hard, he looked over the four-poster that was much like the ones in his dormitory. It was exactly the same, actually. Same twin-size and same oak frame. The only difference lay with the choice of bedding – instead of being wrapped in crimson and gold, the mattress had a black and grey duvet, speckled with the same sort of silver shimmers. The pillowcases seemed to be a purple satin, and he suspected that the sheets would match.

"Potter."

The voice came from right beside Albus. He whipped over to look, noticing a bathroom he hadn't realized was there. And standing right in front of it was Scorpius Malfoy who looked genuinely surprised to see Al there. He was wearing a nice set of dress robes and looked as if he had just taken a shower. The platinum curls he usually wore back were framing his face instead, showing a softer and more delicate side to him. A side he might not have, but this was the impression it gave. Quickly, he took a moment to pull back his hair and raised his chin in dignity. He was composing himself so that he could look…like a Malfoy.

"I hadn't expected you until later," the blonde said softly, no longer seeming caught off-guard. He walked briskly over to the kitchen and pulled out a pot, filling it with water. "Shouldn't you be off celebrating with the rest of your braveheart friends? As I heard, you won the match today. Barely…."

Watching Malfoy so easily move around the small kitchen in his very expensive and very fancy clothes suddenly made Albus feel…inadequate. He looked down at his own clothes, wincing as he realized his hadn't dressed fancy. He'd asked for fancy…and here he was wearing a pair of simple dark-wash jeans, a green and purple striped long-sleeved shirt, and a set of dirty trainers. "I…. I didn't feel like celebrating tonight. So I thought I would come down early. Sorry if I threw you off a bit," he replied softly, moving further into the intimately small room and leaning against a bit of counter space. "You weren't at the match today? Didn't want to cheer on your house?"

Though he couldn't see it, Albus had a feeling that the other boy was rolling his eyes. He set the pot on the stove and turned on a flame. "I've been planning your ruddy date, Potter. Don't seem so surprised, neither," he said, turning to give Al a look as he his jaw dropped. "I take deals very seriously. You chose an honorable Malfoy as your fuck buddy. This is what you get." He gestured around the room, sneering almost proudly at what he had created.

It was remarkable, after all.

"Then I chose wisely," Albus whispered. He didn't like to think of them being…_fuck buddies_. Friends with benefits, neither. They weren't chummy, the two of them. This was more like…just a deal. A payment plan, almost. A bartering system where they both got exactly what they wanted. Smirking a larger smile, he pushed up off the counter. He crossed to the Slytherin boy and placed his hands on the slender hips on front of him as Malfoy reached for various ingredients and another pan. "This place…it's spectacular. Beautiful. And I'm rather excited to see what you've planned for the date." He flexed his fingers a bit, feeling the small bits of muscle under them that caused a shiver to course through his nerves.

Paying him almost no mind, the Malfoy boy went about his business. He gave a nod to show he had heard what Al was saying, then began to chop up tomatoes, garlic, onions, and various other spices before placing them into the pan. "You'll have a marvelous night, I'm sure," he nearly hissed, twitching his hips back just slightly.

The movement was enough to graze their bodies together, jolting Al into grinding forward into him. His breath hitched and he wrapped his arms further around the boy. He touched more muscle, a very quiet moan escaping him at the feel of them. "I'm sure I will," he whispered back, setting his teeth to the back of Scorpius' ear. Every part of him was vibrating and tingling. The nervousness he had felt earlier was replaced with excitement.

This just might have been the best idea he'd ever had.

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**A/N: ****Also, if you can guess what album I've been obsessed with lately that inspired this fic, you'll get SUPERKUDOS!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: My best an most faithful reviewer is the reason for this very quick update. You know who you are (now where's my naked Malfoy cake?!) ;) I would have updated sooner if I had the time because I'm very excited for the way this fic is flying. Enjoy and review, as always!**

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Slowly, Malfoy turned in the other boy's arms and leveled a look at him. Albus wasn't sure what this look meant. It was like when Frank or Rose would try to figure out whether he was in a good frame of mind. Except…it wasn't. He wasn't checking his mental health. He was looking him over carnivorously and seeing inside of his heart at the same time. Like he was judging whether this really was a good idea or not.

He must have decided it was, though, because a moment later their lips were meeting. It was almost lazy, but not in an off-putting way. More like this boy had better things to do than to stand here kissing Albus all night. A short moment later, he turned back around and resumed cooking like nothing had happened. No doubt he was savoring the way that Al's breath rose and fell rapidly behind him. It hadn't been much of a kiss, and yet he knew that it was a shadow of what would come later.

It was thrilling.

Albus scrubbed a hand through his hair to calm himself down and took a few steps back. He observed the way the other was moving, admiring how skillful he looked. "Do you cook at home?" he asked quietly and settled in a chair at the table. He couldn't help but to feel like he might have messed something up by coming early. Like he threw off the rhythm of the date or something.

"I do." The blonde looked back at Al and shrugged like it was no big deal. Like he wasn't sure why this was such a startling idea. "I make dinner with my father every night when I'm home. Does that not seem like something I would do?" He quirked a startlingly dark eyebrow, like he was testing him.

But Albus didn't pick up on this. He was used to talking about this boy like he wasn't there. He wasn't used to having to _censor_ himself. "You know, you're so rich and stuff…. I figured you'd have someone to do that for you. Like house elves. Or if you didn't, you seem like the kind of family where the woman has to do everything."

Snorting, Malfoy turned around fully this time to stare at Al, deadpan. "I really don't understand how people can assume such horrid and unsightly things about my family? What have we done to earn this sort of discrimination? Seriously. I want to know. Because if it's what my father did during the war…. That was years ago!"

It seemed like he was being genuine. Albus' eyes widened and he just…stared at the enraged look upon that gorgeous, pale face. He was a bit shocked. At no point had he ever seen the Slytherin before him blow up like that. Or care about…anything that much. He bit his lip, gauging how to react now. He'd have to do that from now on. Now that he knew this could happen…. "I…. I don't know. It's just the way everyone things of you," he said quietly, treading carefully now. "It just…must be…. I don't know!" The whole heart pounding thing started up again. This time he wasn't nervous, really. Not that he thought. He felt like he was going to die this time because he was terrified. This was confrontation and usually he would run the hell away from that! Hell, he had just run away from his own sister not that long ago! "People hate you, okay? They hate the Malfoys! And I have no idea why! People just _hate you_ and that's how it is!"

Albus was expecting the Malfoy boy to freak out on him. He was expecting him to start yelling at him. He was expecting a duel to break out! What he was not expecting? A slightly amused chuckle to come from over by the stove. He looked up, starting to bite small chunks out of the inside of his lip now. Malfoy wasn't facing him, but he didn't have to for him to know that he was thoroughly amused. His shoulders were shaking with laughter and he was gripping the edge of the countertop like he needed it to stay grounded. "What's so funny, Malfoy?" he asked softly, adding confused to his scared heart palpitations.

"First…don't call me Malfoy. That's my surname. That's not the name someone I plan to fuck tonight should be calling me. Understand?" Albus frowned at the boy's back, not understanding the sudden need for them to be on the first name basis. But he could do that, he supposed…. He could be Scorpius. This could be that intimate. "Second, whatever. I'm used to being that poshy Malfoy that everyone hates. I'm fine with that, really. But don't assume things about me. I can cook, okay? And my family doesn't have house elves anymore. We have a maid we pay on the regular. She's a super wonderful woman who makes the best matzo ball soup. We have money, but so do you. I'm sure we didn't grow up all that differently, Potter. We're one in the same…. Otherwise we wouldn't be here right now, would we? No…normal people wouldn't be doing this. Normal people don't make deals that trade fake dates for sex."

"One," Albus mimicked the other boy, leaning forward in the chair with his elbows perched on his knees, "if I have to call you by your first name, you have to use mine. I know it's easier to just refer to all of us Potters by our last name, but I that's not my identifier. I am not my last name, as much as the world might want me to be. I don't think I have quite the right stuff for that, though. So…call me Albus. Please." He sighed before leaning back again. "Second, my parents might have a decent amount of money…but they weren't exactly free-spending with it. We grew up rather normally. I didn't get the privilege of wearing tailor-made trousers or eating exotic fruits or whatever…. They didn't want to spoil us. And I think I turned out rather…intact, don't you? I don't have to do this fake date thing. It's just…the only solution I could come up with to satisfy my strange attraction towards you."

This time Malfoy actually turned around. His eyes were narrowed dangerously and he looked as if he wanted to punch something. Or someone. Albus could be that someone…. He most likely was. Just a moment ago, the other had said not to assume things about him. And he had just turned right around and done it again. How was this ever going to work if he didn't get past this? If he couldn't stop thinking about the Slytherin as…an arrogant asshole with a ton of money?

"If you're just going to sit there and judge me, _Albus_…I want you to get out." Scorpius cleared his throat, his icy grey eyes cutting deep into the other male and his voice speaking Al's name rushing through him like frozen water. There was no doubt that he was serious here. Every word he spoke had purpose and every part of his body was angled particularly. He was sharp and dangerous.

And Albus knew he had never been more attracted to anyone in his life.

Taking a deep breath, this time to cool off the heat growing inside of him, the Potter boy nodded. "I…. I'm sorry. I suppose I don't really know anything about you. I'll stop assuming things. Okay? Just please don't make me leave. I'm kind of dying to eat dinner. I'm starving and your food…it smells amazing." He smiled wide; sincere and honestly happy for the first time since that morning. Since they had spoken that morning…. "Please let me stay."

Scorpius – because that's what Albus told himself he would all the boy from now on…at least in these close quarters – softened slightly at these words. His features became less sharp and he even had a small hint of shine in his eyes. It might have been a sign that he wanted to smile but didn't really know how to. Or he just couldn't allow himself to. "Fine. You can stay. But don't expect that to be your last time begging tonight. You understand me?" He winked saucily, then turned back to the stove as if it had never happened.

Suddenly, Albus' mouth was dry. He found himself licking his lips, desiring to skip the date he had demanded and get right to the other half of this deal.

_Maybe I am a slag_, he thought to himself, crossing one leg over the other to hide the slight swell to his jeans. He wished he had worn something else tonight. He wished had thought about dressing up. Maybe then he could have a robe to cover himself up with. Luckily Scorpius was making a point of keeping turned away from him. He could ride it out and relax in the meantime.

"T-tell me…. Tell me a little bit more about yourself," Albus questioned gently. It was a distraction. But he was honestly curious, too. Scorpius cared about his image. He cared more than he let on, obviously. This was probably something most people didn't know about him. So now was the time for him to get his facts straight. If he wanted his family to have a better image, he could share. Al was more than eager to listen.

"What do you want to know?"

The question was almost grudging. Maybe Scorpius wasn't as willing to spill as he'd seemed. "Um…." For a moment, Albus watched the boy cook. He was mechanical and fluid all at the same time. Like he had been doing this for years and it was only second nature. It was beautiful. Which only made his problem slightly worse. He had to force himself to look away in order to even think. "Um, tell me about your dad. Are you…close to him? You mentioned you liked to cook with him…."

As he stirred the pan of red sauce that was filling the room with tantalizing aromas, Scorpius raised his hand towards one of the cupboards. His wand was held loosely between his fingers and the doors opened to reveal and softly glowing white box that released vapors into the warm air. As he flicked the wand almost lazily again, a bottle of wine removed itself from the cupboard and settled noiselessly upon the speckled marble countertop. The last wand movement he made brought down two wine-classes and uncorked the wine bottle simultaneously. He then slipped the wand back into his pocket and reached over to lithely fill both classes half-full.

"I'm not exceptionally close to my father," the blonde finally said, turning towards Albus with one class to his lips. He held the other out to Albus, a brow quirked like he was challenging him to turn it down. Al thanked him quietly and took it with both hands, staring down at the dark red liquid like he wasn't sure what to do. He didn't drink wine. Teenagers rarely did, he was sure. At least around here. He wasn't sure what to expect when he took a drink, so he put it off by just holding the cool glass in his hands securely.

Scorpius watched Albus for a few seconds, like he was expecting him to take a drink before he continued. But he must have moved on and accepted that this wasn't going to happen because he turned away sharply on his heel and settled back in front of the stove. "We don't go out and…fish on weekends. We don't have heart-to-heart talks about what pains me or who I have a 'crush' on." He raised his shoulders and let them fall after a few seconds in a limp shrug. "But he is my father. Cooking dinner together is like…the only bonding experience we have on a regular basis. It's just a time where we can both relax and be together. We can talk – as minimal as that is – and make something beautiful for us all to enjoy around a candlelit table. As a family."

For the first time in the entire six years that Albus had vaguely known Scorpius, he had never heard him speak like this. There had never been this sort of passion or happiness in his voice. It was thrilling to beyond. To know that he had this capacity inside of him…. How many people knew of this? Did any of the Slytherins know? Did Aubadon know?

"That's sweet…," Albus said softly because he was unsure what else he could say. He was pretty sure that with every passing moment here, he was getting to know this boy better than anyone else in his life. It was touching but…overwhelming, as well.

For the briefest of moments, Albus felt like he might be being lied to. That maybe Scorpius was making this up for their deal. He as just playing the part of the date. But that thought was gone as soon as it came. He didn't want to believe that the other would do that. We wanted to think that here in this room, they didn't need to make up stories. They could be real because they were already giving one another so much.

"So how about your mother?" he asked quietly, relaxing back in his chair and actually reaching for the glass of wine. He took a small sip, finding that the taste was actually quite pleasant. It was sweet and had mild notes of... Well, he wasn't sure, but he knew that it was pleasant. "How close are you to her?"

This question opened Scorpius up even more. He didn't give a shrug this time and his shoulders seemed to relax just slightly as he cooked, now adding chunks of some kind of seasoned meat. "We do more things together, I suppose. I guess you could say I am a bit closer to her than I am to my father. But that might be because she was around more when I was a child. She never worked a job. She was always home to take care of me. We never cooked together, if that's what you're wondering. But we did bake. They are two different things, you know. Baking is a more intimate process. It's like pouring all of your love and affection into something sweet. That's how Mother sees it, anyway. That's what she would tell me as a child when we would make…Christmas cookies or what have you for my grandparents during the holidays.

"What else would you do together?"

A playful smirk filled out Scorpius' lickably pink lips when he turned to face Albus. His hands were bracing him as he leaned back against the counter. Like this, he was the absolute visage of a god. His hair was dried now and cascaded down his back in its contained ponytail in perfect curls. He had met this boy's father a ministry party once and knew that he had the most slick of locks. The blonde hue he had inherited from Draco Malfoy, but these curls…. They must have come from the maternal genes. They were delicate and beautiful. Maybe on any other male they could have come across as feminine. But on this pale male with his handsome cheekbones that could cut a diamond and his almost predatory angular figure, they were the most masculine and empowering feature he possessed. He wore them with pride and that made all the difference.

"Why do you care to know how I get on with my parents, Albus?" Scorpius asked languidly, the words licking the sexually charged air and coaxing it to crackle around them. "I understand that this is supposed to be a date. But it's not real, right? You want it away from view of anyone you know. That's not real to me. So why are you bothering with these niceties? Why do you care…?"

Answering this boy back became more and more natural the longer they were here. Albus wasn't thinking about his choice of words, but it wasn't in the careless way he would gossip about him to Rose. It was because he felt comfortable here. The date may have been fake, but the feelings he was beginning to develop weren't. "I just…want to know more about you. Neither of us know each other all that well. I believe all we know is what we hear around school. And some of that could be seen as unfavorable. I'm not sure what people say about me…but I do know what they say about you. And I want to try and get past that. Maybe then I won't be so quick to assume things."

Scorpius nodded, his eyes shining mischievously over his wine glass as he took a sip. He looked as if he had been doing this for years. The grace and the delicacy of it were perfected. "If that's what you want…. But then you don't get to be the only asking the questions." One set of dark eyelashes came down to kiss the cheek below it in a breath-taking wink. "You get to answer the questions now. So? How does the great Harry Potter rate in his youngest son's books? Is he just as dreamy and heroic as the world makes him seem? Or is that all just media hype?"

There was definitely a twinge of spite to the words, but Albus could look past them. Anyone who might have been on the losing side of the war for any reason all those years ago no doubt had some unsettling feelings towards the so-called Chosen One. And as the Slytherin sat down across from him, having enchanted the pots on the stove to stir themselves, he could read those feelings rather clearly in those his steel-colored gaze.

"He's a good dad," Al said quietly, holding the challenging stare. "He's quite busy, you know. Being an Auror is a time-consuming job. But when he's home, he tries to give all three of us enough attention. We each have different things we do together. Lily likes to play Quidditch with him; she's kind of a nut about it. James and he talk work – James works at the ministry, too. He's a security guard. They probably spend the most time together now that he's graduated. And I…." Albus frowned, looking down into his glass for a moment. He swirled the contents, trying to find the right way to say this. He didn't want to come off as ungrateful. But at times he was a bit disappointed. "Dad and I…don't spend a whole lot of time one-on-one. When I need some Seeker advice, he's always there to give it to me. And if I want to vent a bit…he'll listen. We just don't really have a hobby that's just ours."

It looked like Scorpius was about to open his mouth and interrupt. Albus qwuickly threw up his hand to stop him and spewed out, "Don't think I'm let down about that, though! I don't mind. I spend a lot of time on my own when I'm home. I like it like that. I've always been a bit of a loner. I feel more comfortable in a room by myself – immersed in a book or listening to the wireless. Or I'd rather be out with Rose or Frankie. I just don't do the whole touchy-feely bonding time thing very easily. Especially not with my dad. We don't have much in common, really."

"So you're not the brave and bold heir he was looking for, I assume. That must be your elder brother."

Albus clenched his free hand in the fabric of his jeans and worried at them. "I didn't say that."

"That's why I assumed." Scorpius chuckled almost darkly and finished off his glass.

So maybe it wasn't the conversation that had been relaxing him. Maybe it had been the alcohol instead. This realization brought a barrier Al had recently let down swiftly crashing right back up. He thought he had been getting somewhere. But that color in those usually nearly-white cheeks was not from any progress he was making. That was from this drink he had so maturely poured for the both of them.

His face pulled into a sneer of distaste, Albus pushed his own remaining wine away and crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn't usually the type that let people in easily. He'd only done it now because he thought he could be safe and comfortable here. But maybe that was a mistake. He needed to stay guarded for now. "I thought we weren't assuming things about each other," he hissed towards the Malfoy boy.

That cocky bastard.

"We weren't assuming things about me," Scorpius easily shot back. He leaned back in his chair, cool and calm, even going so far as to prop his feet up on Al's knees. Like he owned the place.

"I don't recall that being the compromise!" Albus said in a raised voice now. He angrily pushed the feet from his lap, but not before noticing that he was barefoot. His eyes followed the perfectly manicured feet down to the floor, puzzling why he wouldn't have worn shoes. Was it because he'd come so early and hadn't bothered to dress up himself? Had he just given up trying to make this as fancy as he'd planned? "Maybe this is just a joke to you. Maybe you think it's funny to be here with me in this sort of embarrassing plan I came up with! Hell, maybe you'll even go back and write a bloody letter to Zabini about this when you return to the dungeons! You two can have a ruddy good laugh at my expense. Go ahead, I don't really care any longer. But for me…this is serious. I'm here because I genuinely want to be.

"So I'm not going to just sit here and allow you to exploit my personal information while you try and get me drunk. I'm not that kind of guy. Yes, I agreed to sleep with you. But I didn't agree to sleep with you after I'm so far gone that anything you do to me will be acceptable. If that was your plan, fuck off."

The room was quiet after Albus' small rant. His words bounced off the brick walls for a few seconds after, but then it was silent as a graveyard at midnight. The Gryffindor stared down at the table, having had the courage to say all of that and get it off his chest, but quite brave enough to look his opposite in the eye. He could practically feel the Slytherin's gaze burning holes into the top of his head, though. He didn't know what his expression was, and he was honestly afraid to find out. He wasn't sure how matched the pair would be should he decide to curse him.

So they just sat there like that. Neither talking. Neither moving.

Until Scorpius spoke up with, "Merlin, Albus," his words surprisingly serene. Unsure, Al raised his emerald eyes to meet the silver ones that were staring him down with some mixture of pity and admiration. A mixture he didn't understand in the slightest. "Are you always this hostile towards those who show you any semblance of kindness?" He gave a half-smile to the brunette, sitting up and reaching over the table to look him squarely in the eye almost like he was challenging him to look away. "I was observing on what you were telling me. Don't be so quick to think I'm as evil as your dorm mates might think I am."

Right away, Albus wanted to apologize. He wanted to take back all he had said and just _relax_ again. How could he have for any measure of time had thought that the boy sitting there and looking so innocent…wanted to do him any harm? He shivered, opening his mouth to say _something_.

Scorpius stood just as he did, waving him off. "Don't apologize. It can be hard to trust new people. Especially when you're as socially inept as you seem to think you are." He walked closer and leaned down, enveloping Albus with a strange combination scent of citrus, tomatoes, and pure musk. Before Al could brace himself, the other closed the gap between them just for a split second to bring him into a soft kiss. A reassuring kiss. One that told him that they both wanted to be here. That this wasn't a mistake. They could make this arrangement work.

"If you don't want the wine, I can get you some water," Scorpius offered as he walked off like nothing had happened. He was good about that – doing things that stopped Al's heart for a second and then just…walking away. "Though I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how much you like the combination of it with the food I've prepared. Should you trust me enough to keep going with it." The blonde was back at his spot, tending to the food. He was building plates now, putting pasta down first and adding the tomato-y sauce with the meat over top.

Albus didn't even take the chance to think about it. He reached for the wine almost sheepishly and shook his head while taking another small drink. "No…this is good. Thanks."

The smile Scorpius gave as he sat down opposite him again, setting the food in front of each of them, was stunning as much as it was winning. His teeth were all perfectly white and straight except for his the incisors on the top row. They both slanted inwards just slightly – enough to look off but not to mar his perfect visage. If anything, they made him even more attractive. Maybe it was because Al could see that a part of him was flawed in some way. It made him seem more real somehow.

"This looks amazing," Al said under his breath, cautious with his tone now. It wasn't because he was afraid of Scorpius or what he could do. He more just didn't want to upset him. He was doing his best to be polite, the least the Gryffindor could do in return was return the niceties.

"Dig in. It tastes better than it looks."

Albus nodded, picking his fork up and twirling a bite of the sauce, spaghetti, and freshly grated parmesan altogether before he brought it to his lips. His eyes flashed wide open and up onto Scorpius the instant the flavors melded over his tongue. This was amazing! He never in his life would have guessed that anything this Slytherin could make would taste like this. Every flavor had a level of complexity to it that he could never understand how to create. It was like magic on a plate, and in his mouth it was exploding into something miraculous.

Before he'd even fully processed the bite in his mouth, he was going back for more. He shoved in more than was proper and tilted his head back as he made an appreciative noise. Why didn't his mother cook like this? He was sure he would never remain his trim, sallow figure if she had.

"For this being a fancy date, you sure have a lack of finesse…."

Eyes wide, Al looked up at Scorpius and stretched his lips – closed of course – into a shy smile. Quickly, he chewed his two bites and swallowed before it was fully broke down. A bit stuck in his throat, for which he reached towards the wine. One sip was enough to be rid of the blockage, but not before he'd irritated his diaphragm. A second later, a small noise came up from his chest. The hiccup was delicate, but he felt like it was a loud, resonating sound. He clapped a palm over his mouth, flushing with embarrassment. "I'm sorry," he whispered, covering his mouth again as another hiccup wracked his chest. "_Fuck_."

Scorpius chuckled, clearly amused as he ate with all the grace of his name. "You sure are a sexy individual, Mr. Potter." He speared a piece of the Italian sausage on the end of his fork, bringing it to his smugly smiling mouth, and biting it off with those just slightly imperfect teeth that Al was swiftly becoming obsessed with.

Just like his mother had taught him to as a child, Albus closed his eyes and relaxed his torso completely. He mentally located the issue, forcing himself to breathe normally as he reached for the glass of wine. One drink was all it took. He pulled it down into his belly, picturing his diaphragm relaxing as it went past. The hiccups disappeared instantly, but he remained that way for one more sip just in case.

When he opened his eyes, Scorpius was still wearing that barely-there smile that enveloped his whole face. He was definitely amused, but there was another emotion lingering there, as well. Something he just couldn't pick up on in his agitated state. "I get the hiccups easily," he said meekly, twirling pasta around his fork as a distraction. "I don't know why…. I just seem to swallow things wrong." He let loose a titter of a laugh.

"Does that mean you'll get the hiccups every time you suck me off?" Scorpius asked the question like it was the most casual topic of conversation for dinner. He looked Albus square in the eye, unashamed of even uttering it.

Albus could not force himself to be so nonchalant about it, however. His jaw dropped open just as he was raising another forkful of pasta towards it. This just wasn't something he knew how to take in stride. It was a bit startling…. Slowly, he closed his mouth and set his silverware down, suddenly having the urge to take a rather large drink from his wine glass. "Um…," he said, his heart beating a little heavier than normal – again. "Um, I d-don't…. I, uh…."

"Relax, Albus," Scorpius reminded him, gently knocking their knees together under the table.

_Relax?!_ Albus took in shaky breaths, thinking about their second half of the deal earlier than he thought he'd have to. Was he obligated to perform that action for his 'date'? Was that something people who had casual sex did? Or was that more of an intimate act? With any of the three men he'd slept with, they'd never approached that topic. It just been where they jumped right into bed and got the deed done and over with. But right now he wished at least one of them had at least had him try it.

More than anything, he realized he was afraid of messing up. He for some reason didn't care that this was what Scorpius wanted. He was more preoccupied with the fear of not being adequate.

Somewhere during Albus' internal freakout, Scorpius had removed himself from his chair. He carefully folded his napkin down beside his plate, emptied the second glass of wine that he had filled at some point earlier, and stood to cross over to the other side of the table. There was a dull _thunk_ as he lowered himself to his knees, a sight that in itself would have driven anyone crazy. It seemed like a contradiction of personality for a Malfoy to be on their knees for any reason for anyone. His thoughts running crazy, Al put everything down as well and emptied his own glass. He was suddenly parched and found he couldn't keep his breathing easy.

That sly, signature grin was firmly plastered on Scorpius' lips as his long-fingered hands gripped Albus' thighs in just the right place. He was reminded of every attraction-provoking thought he'd ever had for this boy and they all rushed to below his belt. His breathing stopped entirely when the blonde reached for this area, swiftly undoing the belt buckle like it was just routine. Al barely had a second of time to react before his jeans were being yanked down to reveal his incredibly plain navy boxer shorts.

An action that was accompanied by ten words that were whispered in a way that had him completely surrendering and coming undone.

"I think it's time for my part of this deal….


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I just realized that this is my shorter chapter, and I apologize... I just got really excited when I ended it where I thought it should end and wanted you all to read it! So enjoy and review, please! I can't stress the _please_ enough.**

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"B-but I hardly…. Hardly got to, um, e-enjoy my part…."

Albus had meant what he'd said to be playful and cute. He had wanted to get his point across that he was still enjoying them being on a 'date'. It had just started to get good! They were _just_ coming to terms with one another. But his words had come out feeble and pathetic. He didn't even sound like he meant it. If he were Scorpius, he would take the way he'd said them as a sign that he wanted to get to the other part, too.

When in reality he was cripplingly nervous for it.

Back when he had suggested it (why had he suggested it?), he had felt so sure about his decision. He had thought this was a good trade-off. After all, he'd had meaningless sex with three other boys he'd had feelings for over the summer. He'd had his time to grieve those times and had come to terms with them.

But maybe that was the thing. He'd grieved those failed relationships and that was why he was okay to think back on them. This…. This was new and fresh and it could hurt just as much as the other times had to be fucked and most likely forgotten. Instead of empowering him, this could most likely break him all over again?

Why was it that he was just now realizing this?

Scorpius was no longer paying attention to Albus' face and the way it contorted with emotion. If he had, he would have most likely picked up on the hesitance. He was too preoccupied, however, with pulling off the shoes that were stopping these jeans from coming all the way off. "Next time you ask for a fancy date you should dress up," he grumbled, throwing the dirty trainer off to the side in disgust before working the trousers off completely.

"I-I showered...," was all Albus could think to respond with.

"Well that's something," Scorpius chuckled, leaning up with his hands braced on Al's knees to give him an open-mouthed kiss that gently tugged at his lips. As he settled back down on his knees, he pushed apart the legs he had a hold on. He then leaned in with his mouth still open to press heated kisses to the rapidly swelling part of his body.

Not that he wanted it to be swelling. He was trying as hard as he could to keep the blood from rushing downwards. Maybe if he didn't react, he could keep going with the soft stuff for now. He could avoid the prospect of sex for the time being.

That kiss to his genitals, though, was quickly pushing these thoughts away. He let loose a soft groan, throwing his head over the back of the chair. It was so good….

"Don't you worry, Albus – I'm going to make you feel good. Just relax... This is what we agreed to and I don't plan to make you regret that." Scorpius squeezed with gentle motions up Albus' legs. "But…it's not too late for you to back out now. If you feel…regretful or scared, we can stop now and never look back. We'll never speak of this again, if that's what you want. But you have to tell me now…." He quirked a trim and neat eyebrow up at the Gryffindor until their eyes met.

In that moment, Albus knew he had to make a decision. He was terrified of it. He was terrified of this situation! It was too much too soon. And he couldn't decide which way he wanted to sway on it. On the one hand, there was this need growing so visibly inside of him. It was threatening to take over every ounce of restraint that he had left. And on the other hand, there were these hesitations he had. The ones that screamed out for him to stop and think about this. The ones that told him he still had a chance at a normal life with normal future relationships if only he would just stop…and think for a second.

The hot breath on his crotch, though, clouded the rational thoughts. He shivered, pushing off the chair without really meaning to. "I can't do this," he whispered, almost meaning it. The way he was joining Scorpius on his knees spoke the opposite of his words, however. As did the way he crushed their lips together. All caution, all rationale, flew out the metaphoric window.

It was just them. Right here. Right now. That was all that mattered. He could worry over it later.

"The bed," Scorpius muttered, his arms entangle around Albus' waist. Clawing at his shirt in desperation. This was no-holds-barred passion and he wanted a follow through.

With a subtle nod, Al raised himself up off the floor and took a few steps back towards the bed. He threw a last look at the table and what he was leaving behind before locking his eyes onto the blonde's. There was a fire in that grey sea that he wasn't sure he'd ever seen before in anyone. Though he couldn't be sure what form this passion took – lust or affection – and that was what held his own feelings in check. It kept him detached so he wouldn't get hurt.

That was the important part here.

"Take off your clothes, Albus…."

Sighing, Albus walked back until he felt the back of his knees hit the bedframe. He then lowered himself upon the mattress, folding his hands in his lap and just staring at Scorpius. He didn't want to do this alone. That wasn't romantic. If he was going to go through with this deal, the least he could expect was for it to be different.

Scorpius didn't seem to have a problem undressing by himself. He loosened his tie first, tilting his head at Al as he took measured steps closer. His shirt came next, each button coming undone with purpose. The boy slipped off his robe and white shirt simultaneously before closing the few feet they had left between them.

The skin revealed by this act drove Albus wild inside. He couldn't stop staring at the alabaster hue, longing to reach out and stroke every inch. He looked like marble…. Soft, pliable marble with ripples of muscles around the abdomen. Not muscles like he had earned from years of Quidditch exercises. No…these muscles almost seemed natural. Subtle and just barely enough there to be there.

"What are you waiting for, Albus? Strip for me…." Scorpius hooked a sharp finger under his belt buckle, undoing it like he'd been practicing for years.

The only reason Albus was keen to do as he was told was because he could feel magic in the air. He was sure he was under some spell. It was this magic tickling around him that coaxed his hands to the hem of his shirt. To bring it up over his chest and head. "Like this?" he asked, his words just barely audible, standing and hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his boxer shorts. "Do you want me to get rid of them?"

The smirk Scorpius wore was almost too real. As soon as his trousers were on the floor, revealing that he wasn't wearing any sort of undergarments, he was hastily throwing his 'date' down onto the mattress. He straddled his prone form, crushing their lips together with a need that reflected the glimpse of half-formed erection Albus was able to see before he'd been mounted. "I think I can manage to take care of them for you," he whispered, moving his lips to Al's ear as he pulled them up to the pillows. There wasn't even a second to think before the last shred of clothing between them was removed.

This was all real, now. There would be nothing stopping them from this point on. His eyes filled with the beginnings of tears, Albus looked up at the man above him. Because that's what he was. In this mature situation made from a mature decision they might not be ready to handle, he couldn't be anything but a man. He sure was endowed like a full-grown man. His fingers traced over those abs he couldn't get off his mind, savoring the moment before everything came undone.

"Tonight…," Scorpius said still quietly, his teeth grinding over the fragile skin of Albus' neck, "we will take it simple and smooth. Nothing too complicated. Just…sex." He rutted their exposed lower halves together, drawing a careless gasp of excitement from his partner. "Don't be nervous – I know what I'm doing."

"How many people have you slept with?" Albus asked on a shaky breath. He kept staring at the ceiling, not wanting to look at how they were lying. That would just mean that this was reality and he couldn't escape it. He'd come so far already….

It would seem Scorpius was slightly thrown by the question. He raised himself up on his arms and tried to meet the Gryffindor's eyes, searching once again. "Uh…seven. You?"

"Three." Albus was unmatched. He'd already figured as much, attributing to part of his nerves. "Sorry if I do something wrong."

"You won't. And if you do, for some reason or another, we'll have plenty of time to remedy it. Should you want to continue with our deal once I'm done with you…." Smiling softly, the blonde held his hand out towards the kitchen and an instant later his wand was flying into it. He pulsed with enchantment when he waved it, snuffing most of the candles in their room. Setting a mood. "Is there anything I need to know before we start?"

Albus' shake of the head set everything into motion. The tender kisses that got heavier and heavier with each nip and suckle. The eager grinding of sensitive skin together until they couldn't tell their breaths apart. Both boys – one major step away from becoming men – for the moment allowed themselves to forget their pasts. They forgot who they were and allowed the growing emotions to take over. Allowed hormones to rage without question as to whether this was right or wrong. They didn't think on the consequences or what this could change.

None of that mattered.

The only thing that did matter was their sweaty, slick skin reacting to every touch and kiss. Their simultaneous gasp and groans and _screams_ of pleasure. The way their bodies rose to meet each other.

And how right it felt.

It wasn't like they weren't going to regret anything later or question what they'd done. It's just that…at that moment it didn't matter. For their own reason, both needed this right here. They would never admit it, but this was something their hearts had been aching for as well as their bodies.

The only indication that either was privy to this fact came when Albus felt himself on the brink. He opened his mouth before he'd realized what he was planning to say and let loose with something that could change everything from this point on.

If they let it.

"I love you," he whispered, his lips impossibly close to Scorpius' ear. Only a moment later, he let loose with his release, despite the break in the other's careful rhythm. He didn't even notice that he'd thrown him off because he was too lost in riding his ecstasy. He felt like he could see stars directly in front of his eyes and his body relaxed better than he had in years. He was exhausted and empowered at the same time, gripping the long and limber body above him as close as he could manage.

It was quite a few moments later before Scorpius was able to let go. And even then it wasn't easy and carefree. He was wracked with a powerful orgasm that looked as if it tore his very soul in two. Riding the rest of it, he avoided looking at Albus and seemed like he was trying to only barely touch him. Al watched him, eyeing his twitchy movements with mild hesitation. They had hardly finished and he was already quick to close himself off.

Exactly what he had feared. This was just going to be a one-time ploy to get in and get out as quick as he could. "Scorpius?" he whispered, fearing he'd ruined everything when he realized his words had been said aloud those short moments ago. If this all went up in flames it would be because of him alone. He would be the reason this boy closed himself off from him. "Scorpius look at me."

Scorpius was quick to remove himself from inside of Albus. He slid out harshly, rolling off the bed and reaching for his abandoned clothing. "I told you I wasn't going to do this. I _told_ you I wasn't going to be your goddamn boyfriend, Potter…," he spat, his words venomous and clearly stemming from something like betrayal.

Gathering the sheets around himself to feel slightly less exposed, Al sat up and watched the Slytherin. He felt empty and could feel the crack inside that could break him. "N-no…. Scorpius, no! I didn't mean it!" There were tears trekking down his cheeks now. He was desperate to keep the other here, for some reason he might not be able to pinpoint.

Maybe because he knew if he left, this could never happen again. And he could never feel that whole again…. Their deal would be a thought in the wind and he would feel the same way he had with the other three – an empty shell.

"I _don't_ love you, Malfoy!" he shouted, the resilience in his voice startling both of them. Finally, Scorpius met Albus' eyes and they both took a deep breath in order to begin calming down. The blonde already had his trousers back on, but he had paused with his button-down still held in a closed fist. "This whole thing is a charade! I just…. I just went along with it. You cut my half of the deal short, so I intruded on yours and I apologize. But it brings this to another level, doesn't it? Our fake dates can be a fake…relationship of sorts. You'll still get what you like and I…will get what I want. Sex for an illusion of love.

"Nothing has changed. The conditions are still the same."

Albus' quick thinking was a miracle. He must have said just the right thing because as soon as he'd finished, Scorpius' harsh glare began to fade. He blinked, dropping his shirt to the floor and taking a step back to the four-poster. "This is still an act?" he asked, his voice quiet to try and hide the shake to his voice. "You'll swear to me that this…has not changed? That you _don't_ love me and never will?"

"I swear." Al pulled himself up onto his knees, palms braced on the edge of the mattress. The silken purple sheets fell away from his chest, exposing his spunk-splashed tan skin and a half-covered pert ass. "I _swear_, Scorpius." The name on his lips was like pure, hot honey. "I could never love you. Just remember that."

Sighing through his nose, the Slytherin threw his hands up in the air in a sort-of uninspired shrug. "Fine! But if you ever do start to love me." He quickly pointed his finger at the Potter boy as he was about to interrupt him. "I know, I know, you will never love me! But just in case you do…I need you to promise me that you will _end_ this. Straight away!"

There was definite worry in those usually steely eyes that Albus didn't even hesitate in nodding. He bit his lip, looking entirely fuckable in his current state. He was sure he could keep his boundaries and not end up falling for the boy. After all, he was a Malfoy. Malfoys and Potters…they might make truces, but they were destined never to get on perfectly. That was why he knew his confession had been fake. There was no way he could love this blonde beauty in front of him. "I promise," he said with a stunning smile and patted the bed fondly. "Come sit back beside me, Scorpius. Unless cuddling counts as loving…? I'm exhausted and you look comfy."

Almost begrudgingly, Scorpius returned to small bed. He still wore the dress trousers, but Albus wouldn't argue. This bed was just small enough where the two of them couldn't just lie on their own sides. This meant that the paler, taller of the two had to wrap his arms securely around the brunette as they both laid back against the pillows.

There wasn't much time to consider what this was now. Both boys' eyes were closing soon after they'd entangled their limbs. The only contemplation they could do, now, was in their dreams. And Albus knew that his dream self wasn't doing much thinking. Or sleeping. He was vividly reliving the night they'd shared – every embarrassing, happy, confusing, and sinful moment of it.

Albus wasn't sure what time he awoke the next day, exactly. There were no windows in their room of pretend. No light streamed in to indicate it even was the next day. But as he opened his eyes, he felt significantly rested. His eyes yesterday had felt like boulders rolling in a sandy dessert oasis. Today, he felt normal and refreshed, aside from the noticeable pain in his backside. This he could easily fix later on when he got back to his dormitory. He had at least one Pepper-Up Potion ready for such instances – just in case.

Yawning, the boy squirmed in the bed, the silk rubbing tantalizingly against his skin as he moved. "Mmm," he moaned, turning and finding no resistance. He'd fallen asleep with Scorpius' arm around him, but maybe their positions had changed somewhere in the night. Slowly, he opened his eyes, finding just as he feared to be true when he'd noticed a lack of pressure at his side.

Scorpius was gone.

Suddenly, his mouth was dry and he found it hard to swallow his own morning spittle. He quickly sat up and did a once-over on the romantic room from last night's date. Nothing. He raced to the small bathroom, slamming the door open. Nothing again.

As he stood there lonely and forgotten, Albus tried to tell himself that this meant nothing. They weren't anything real, so why should Scorpius be expected to stay and make breakfast the next morning? He took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself and keep the tears at bay. This meant nothing to him. He needed to _remain detached_. It was for the good of everything right now.

As calm as he could, the Gryffindor took a quick shower to rid himself of any reminders of the night before and redressed. He went to walk out of the room and, not wanting to look back so that he might pretend nothing had happened. The only thing holding him from doing so was the leather-bound journal settled neatly on the table that had been cleared of last night's dinner. Frowning, he picked it up, examining the plainness of its black cover in curiosity. He opened it, flipped through the pages – nothing.

His morning was a whole mess of nothings.

In something like disgust, Albus snorted and left just as he had planned. He tucked the journal under the crook of his arm and gave it no further thought for the moment. His plan for the moment was to head to breakfast as casually as possible. He left that stretch of blank wall and its glorious 'date' room alone behind him. Out of sight, out of mind.

"Allie!"

Startled, Albus looked quickly over to the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. He located Rose, who was grinning mighty brightly for so early in the morning. She wasn't a morning person…. And she'd never been _this_ happy to see him in her life. He made a bee-line for the spot left vacant beside her and sat down with a shy smile, running his fingers through his almost-dry mop of dark hair. "Hey," he said quietly, pulling a plate towards him and looking around for the scrambled eggs.

"Since when do we have roast beef sandwiches for breakfast?" he asked curiously, taking one and looking at it like it was foreign to him.

Rose let out a laugh of disbelief, leaning over Albus' plate to meet his eyes. She waved a hand in front of them, confusion etched into every line of her face. "What is _wrong_ with you? And where have you been, Allie?! We were beginning to worry about you…."

"What?" Albus questioned around a mouth-full of roast beef. He was starving again.

Across the table, Frank cleared his throat rather forcefully. Al hadn't even noticed he was there. He looked up, still chewing and made a probing nod of his head. To which his friend merely sighed and said bluntly, "Its lunchtime. A little after noon, Al. You were gone all night…all morning? Where have you been?"

Albus hadn't thought that far in advance. He hadn't thought to make an excuse for his absence. For the moment, he chewed and stared down at his plate, thinking furiously. He was usually pretty good at flippantly making excuses or lying about his well-being. But today it was hard. Maybe because all he could think about was how the hard wood of the bench was making his backside sting unbearably.

"I, uh….s-snuck out last night…."

"We figured as much," Rose snapped, seeing right through this charade. "Go on, out with it. Where did you go?"

Shrugging, Albus looked over towards the Slytherin table. He had an almost unobstructed view from here. But from this position, he could only make out that back of that mass of shining curls. They offered no reassurance whatsoever. Neither did the blank book sitting firmly on his thing. "I…. I went to the library," he settled on. "I fell asleep. Under my cloak. I was dead-tired so…I guess I slept rather late. Sorry. Didn't know. Didn't mean to alarm you…."

There was still disbelief in Rose's soft, blue eyes. She still looked like she didn't trust a single thing her best friend was saying because she _knew_ he was lying. But the reasons behind the lies were what puzzled her the most. He only avoided the truth with her when it was extremely embarrassing or incriminating. So what was his reason now? She forced a small smile in the end and nodded, picking at her own sandwich. "Alright. Shoulda known to look for you there. We were gonna use the map but…you must have taken it with you?"

Albus returned that taught pull of the lips and looked between his friends. A flash of last night came back to him that he'd almost forgotten. The kiss. He quickly looked down again, noticing for the first time the tense air around them. Something had gone wrong with their little tryst. He had guessed it would, but he wasn't going to call it out right now. One of them – or most likely both – would confide the details in him eventually. He could sit back and wait.

Besides, he had his own loveless love life to fret over in the meantime. That should keep him busy.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm hoping I can get another one up today. But for now, here's this one! Enjoy and please, please, please review!**

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The rest of the weekend passed by in a hazy daze. Albus couldn't remember really what he'd done all of Sunday, except for sitting in the common room pretending to read. He wished had had been able to actually get something done because he had quite a bit of homework due throughout the week. But his brain just would not work quite right. He was distracted again. It was starting to feel like he would constantly have most of his mind dedicated to Scorpius Malfoy.

All day, the only glimpse he had gotten of the boy had been the back of his head at lunch. It seemed like he hadn't even bothered to show up to dinner. And he definitely wasn't dawdling anywhere around the castle. But he remained behind Al's eyes every time he closed them. It was a curse, this deal they had made.

He was obsessed.

Was that healthy? Being so infatuated with a person that you can't focus on the mundane actions of everyday life?

Or was that the beginning of love?

This was something Albus tried his very hardest not to dwell on. He wasn't supposed to fall in love with the Malfoy heir. That was reckless and he was sure he couldn't afford to be so frivolous. No one would approve or understand. He was sure he wouldn't even be able to understand himself! No, this infatuation just _couldn't_ be anything more than lust.

Scorpius had, after all, been a brilliant lover. He had been kind and Albus' needs as well as his own. He had made sure that he wasn't hurting him and that their position was comfortable. And the way that he had _filled_ him…. That had to have been a restricted form of magic itself. Could a person really fill up every empty space another had with just their swollen cock? Or had this just been Albus' vivid imagination?

But he felt so _empty_ now. He knew the only way he could feel that complete and whole again was to go through with the blonde's half of the deal again. That scared him slightly, but only because it thrilled him beyond reason.

There was no way this was the beginning of love, though, was the point. Never could Albus allow himself to love Scorpius. They had come this far and there was no going back or starting over as something else. He wouldn't allow his feelings to manifest this way. His obsession was just that. It was silly and it needed to be squashed.

For the thousandth time since he'd picked it up, Albus looked down at the leather-bound journal. He ran his fingers over the blank cover. He felt safe behind the curtains of his dormitory bed, his knees pulled up so that he could rest the small book atop his thighs. It felt reassuring to have it come to contact with the bare skin of his legs. It felt heavy and cold, reminding him that it was indeed real. Even if he wasn't sure on the purpose of it yet.

It was almost like the book read his mind in that instant. Like embers burning at the bottom of a nearly dimmed fire, one word came scrawling across the cover. It etched one letter at a time in a delicate and perfected script, spelling out his own name in the end. Stunned, Albus touched the beautiful 'A' and recoiled instantly at the heat the letters still gave off.

Like he was being jolted to life, Albus sat up in his bed and set the journal down upon his bedspread. His internal clock told him that it was near eight in the morning. It was what he had been waiting for – the rest of his dorm mates to wake before he crawled out of bed. He had maybe a few minutes before Frank would come to see what was still keeping his early-bird self in bed. He just prayed that in the time he had left, the journal would manifest more.

He wasn't disappointed. As he opened the pages, wanting to see if anything else had changed, he glimpsed more of the same handwriting on the first page. It wasn't burned into the page, but was instead written with standard black ink. At first the words didn't make sense. It was a list of dates with a dash afterwards, followed by numbers and sometimes small notes like '_at midnight_' or '_under the noon-day sun_'. He didn't understand. If these notes were from Scorpius specifically meant for him…why was the schedule so strange? Why were some of the times on days during class-hours?

It clicked just before it was too late. The potion. In the excitement of the deal they had made, Albus had completely forgotten the reason for why they were supposed to spend so much time together in the first place. This must have been the schedule for the potion that Scorpius had been working at the library. It was very detailed; very precise. He couldn't help but to admire the skill it must have taken to plan all of that out.

He was sure he could have done it, too…perhaps if he hadn't been so engrossed in his own thoughts. Perhaps this was a testament to the true nature of their situation. That Scorpius didn't have to keep reminding himself that love wasn't possible here.

In haste – for he knew it was only a matter of time now – Al took note of the first date. The date that they would start their project. It was today at three; during their Potions class. He smiled fondly and traced over the time. He would wait anxiously for it.

And his first order of business at that time would be to try and get Scorpius to tell him how this blasted journal worked.

Before he could be discovered, Albus shut the journal with a snap and shoved it under his pillow. He sat up, pushing his curtains aside and practically announcing himself to the rest of the room. As if he needed to let everyone know that he was indeed awake. They were all just waking up themselves, rubbing sleepy eyes and wiping drooling mouths. None were as spry and ready and Albus was. Then again, none of the others had been awake as long as he had. Except maybe Frank….

This was rather unlike the boy. He wasn't the type to be up early _ever_. If anything, he liked the push the boundaries of breakfast for a little extra rest. But here he was…sitting on the edge of his bed, already dressed and ready to go. Before Albus had even decided to pull himself out of bed.

"Alright, Frankie?" he asked, facing away from everyone to pull off his boxers and yank on another pair. He turned back for the rest of his dressing, raising a brow at his friend.

Frank shrugged, pulling his knapsack up higher on his shoulder. "Yeah, I'm good," he said under his breath. He was the complete opposite of 'good'.

And Albus had an idea as to why. "This is about Rose, isn't it?" he asked under his breath, looking back at the other roommates before crossing over to sit beside Frank. He put his hand on the boy's leg, squeezing it consolingly. To be honest, he'd thought one of them would have come to him yesterday about this. But they were being pretty tight-lipped.

"Wha'?"

"I saw the two of you…after the match. You know, when I snuck out?" Al offered a half-smile both as an apology and a reassurance. "I haven't mentioned it to her yet. I wanted to see how the both of you handled it before I said anything. I just know this can get messy…."

Frank rolled his eyes and snorted. "Messy? This is beyond messy, Al. Yeah, it's about her. And about how impossible she is…."

Rose Weasley…. How did one describe Rose Weasley? She was a complicated girl. Equal parts brilliant, beautiful, and dangerous. She was as smart as Albus and Scorpius both. Rose could have been a contender for top of the class. However, her beauty won out for top priority most days. She'd found at a young age in puberty that there were certain things that drove boys absolutely bonkers. Things that she possessed much earlier than most girls of their age. And she was definitely not shy when using them.

This wasn't the only reason she could be dangerous. But it was definitely large factor. Since she had swiftly become an expert when it came to boys, it seemed she grew tired of them very easily. Last year alone, she had dated five different boys, and had strung along twice as many with kisses and flirting. Both Frank and Albus were very aware of this, having been her best friends since they'd stepped on the train the first year.

But knowledge couldn't hope to compete with first-hand experience. Neither of them had ever considered that she might work her wiles on them one day. "What'd she do, then?" Al probed, massaging his temple. This was just as he'd feared. He wanted to stay away from this topic for _this_ reason!

_Damn love, getting in the way._

"I slept with her, Al…."

_Damn sex even more._

"_WHAT?!_" Albus ground out, his heart panging painfully at just the thought. This could ruin everything for all of them. Their great friendship would now be at stake. And that was something he'd never wanted to lose, despite whatever happened with the rest of his life. "You're an idiot, Frankie! I swear to it – an idiot."

Never the type to anger, Frank merely shrugged and accepted the title. It seemed like he knew he was an idiot. He'd already realized the gravity of the situation. "Spare me, Albus. I've been beating myself up for it ever since. But can you blame me? She's beautiful. She's amazing. She's…. She's _Rose_, Albus! And suddenly the other night she wanted _me_! I just couldn't help myself…." He sighed hopelessly, his head coming down to rest heavily in his hands. "And now…she won't look me in the eye. She's been avoiding me; I can tell. And afterwards…. After we, you know…." Albus pulled a look of disgust that said his friend didn't need to go further. "She bolted. Like right afterwards, she made some bullshit excuse about needing to pee and just…ran off. I don't know what to do, Al…."

"And neither do I, Frankie!" Losing a little bit of patience due to the circumstances, Albus threw up his hands and stared at his best friend in annoyance. He would help him out – help him get over it – if it were any other girl. But it _wasn't_ and that was what tipped him over the edge. This was Rose, his favorite cousin and best girl friend. "I don't want to be in the middle of this, okay? I'm not saying I won't hear you guys out when you need to vent about one another. I'm just saying…. When I saw you two the other night, I knew this was what was going to happen. You two weren't going to be able to handle what you'd done and it would affect all of us. It's just a million times worse, now, since you couldn't keep your dick in your pants."

Immediately, it felt like a brick wall shot up between the two of them. Frank glared over at Albus with a hate the Potter boy had never seen before. "I know you're a bit of an antisocial prick when it comes to other people's lives," he spat and stood quickly, his wand at his side clenched in a closed fist, "but I thought I was your friend. It's not that I couldn't 'keep my dick in my pants'. I really like her, Albus. And if she gave this a chance…I guarantee she could return my feelings. So just stay out of it. It's not like you care anyway."

"I do, too, care!" Albus shouted, forgetting completely that they had other roommates. They didn't matter – they weren't a part of this. "I care more than you would ever know! I just think the two of you are being immature and stupid!" He moved to his feet, as well, fingers poised on his wand inside his pocket, just in case.

Scoffing, Frank stepped back towards the door. It almost looked like he was looking for a good way to escape if necessary. "And you shagging three guys in one month with absolutely no attachment is supposed to be considered 'mature'?" That was probably why….

There was no time wasted with thinking over which curse to use or what steps to take to block a counterattack. Albus didn't even think about magic when he decided he'd had enough of Frank flapping his jaw. Growling low in his throat, he launched himself like a preying tiger at his so-called friend. His hands didn't form fists. He didn't intend to hit the other, but he sure was getting some good scratches in. Frank's face and forearms was starting to look like he'd been mauled by a cat only moments later.

It hadn't taken long for one of the other Gryffindors to come over and grab Albus' arms, pulling him up off of Frank. The Potter boy kicked his legs, arms pinned behind his back, and managed to collide one with the underside of his friend's jaw. The instant he saw blood, he was satisfied. He stopped fighting and fell limp to the floor. The other boys around him stared at him, watching him to make sure he wasn't going to surge back at Frank.

But he knew he wouldn't. He was done. The state the other was in was good enough for what he'd said. His lip curling in disgust, Al pushed himself up off the floor and spat at his so-called friend. He then turned, snatched up his book bag, and was storming out the door not a moment later.

Albus was almost near the bottom of the staircase that led back down to the common room, not looking at anyone he passed on the way for fear they'd see the tears in his eyes, when he was stopped. A gentle hand was on his, speaking to him in a soft voice. He didn't understand the words – they were too soft under the harsh pounding of his own blood in his ears. "What?" he whispered, raising those shining, too-green eyes to look at the girl in front of him.

"I…. I was just asking if Frankie was still up there. Are you okay, Albus?" Rose's own blue eyes were shrouded in puffy, red skin. She looked like she'd been crying all night.

"Yes," Al said under his breath, rubbing at his eyes to try and _relax_. He wasn't sure which question he was answering, but he knew it wasn't the truth for the latter. It felt like the world was crashing around him at that second and he was helpless to stop it. His carefully laid out life was shifted in ways he couldn't control. People were doing things he didn't want them doing. He couldn't move them like pawns, he knew. But he _should_ be able to stop them from ruining _everything_. Atop that, he'd just treated his best friend like a scratching post. He wasn't even sure why he would do that. He'd never been the violent sort…. And underneath all of this, he was hiding a secret that was starting to tear a hole inside of him. He was easily obsessed with the Malfoy boy and he wasn't sure how to handle that.

Maybe that was the root of all of his problems here.

"I think he loves you, Rose," was all Albus could manage to say before he pulled away from his cousin. He left her standing there, mouth agape in shock and rushed past everyone else in the common room as fast as he could. He tore through the corridors, not meeting anyone's gaze and went straight for the Great Hall. His plan was to get through breakfast without having to say anything – without having to break down. He could hold onto his emotions…if people just left him alone.

"Malfoy looks smug today."

A pain that was physically unbearable tore through Albus' heart. He reached up to rub at his chest, a half-chewed bite of toast forgotten for the moment inside of his mouth.

"Then again, he looks smug every day, doesn't he? He just looks…considerably _more_ smug today. Like he has a secret or something."

Albus knew that Hugo wanted him to respond. It was a fun game among the Potters and Weasleys to try and figure Malfoy out after a weekend. To try and figure out what he might have been up to wherever he disappeared to during their days off from classes. But this morning…this game didn't seem fun. Al knew what he'd been up to this weekend and he just wanted to stay out of it. "I'm sure he has many," he said quietly, only looking at Rose's brother for a short moment.

The boy's freckled face was lit up brightly – innocently. His red hair framed it in subtle waves and for the first time, Albus was grateful for those slight differences between him and his sister. Rose's had natural tight curls that were the color of rust. Hugo had inherited less of the curl and more of the red from his parents. He also had managed to come across a paler complexion than the rest of his family. No one was sure where that came from, but they were all pretty sure that if he were to get some sun every once in a while, he would tan right up. However, the youngest of his cousins was not the outdoors type…. He was a bookish Hufflepuff who valued the friendship of art and books more than participating in anything that had to do with being outside. He and Albus could have been very, the Potter boy thought, if only they hadn't been three years apart. And if either of them was slightly less introverted.

Hugo smiled softly, the type of smile that would make anyone else seem distant. But anyone who knew him knew he never smiled with his teeth, or with the rest of his face. Everything he did was careful and small. Quiet. "Yeah, I suppose. It just…. It looks like something really important happened this weekend. You know? Like he had a _really_ good weekend."

"Right…."

"Like he…um…." Hugo blushed, covering his face with a cute giggle. He spoke the rest of his explanation behind his hands, everything coming out mumbled, but still very clear. "Like he had _sex_."

This wasn't the first time they had assumed this in their game. A couple times before there had been too much of a spring in Malfoy's step for a Monday morning. This was, however, the first time Albus paled completely when speaking about it. He found it difficult to swallow his breakfast and just couldn't stop _staring_ at the way Scorpius sipped his pumpkin juice with a barely-there quirk to his lips.

"Yeah, that's Malfoy's 'I got laid' smirk." Albus started visibly at Rose's voice near his ear. He jumped, nearly sending his plate flying as she sat down beside him. She didn't even look at him, her eyes glued onto the Slytherin table. "Maybe we could ask Louis if he's blabbed about it in the common room. Figure out who it was."

"Or Albus could just ask him in Potions, since he cares so much who sleeps with who around here."

That voice did it for Albus. He was already on edge and the last thing he wanted was for the boy he'd just attacked to take the empty seat on his other side. He stiffened visibly, lowering his eyes down to his food. He didn't want to get caught staring at Scorpius. And he definitely didn't want to look up at Frank. He didn't want to see the damage he'd done. He didn't want to have to face any sort of consequence from it.

"_Merlin_, Frank! What happened to your face?" Hugo's sweet and caring gasp instantly made Albus feel horrible for what he'd done. All the anger had ebbed by now and he was left with asking himself over and over again _why_ he had done it.

In these close quarters, Albus could feel Frank shrug beside him. He shied away from the motion, curling in more towards the table. "Just some cat in the corridor. Feral, mangy thing. I'm fine."

As much as he didn't want to look at the other boy, Albus couldn't help but to let his eyes roam up in curiosity. Frank was covering for him. He was pretending like he hadn't just had a full-fledged freakout up in their dormitory. What was his angle? He eyed the scratches on the boy's face – five sets of three in various places over his round cheeks and neck. They could easily pass for animal scratches, but why would he lie?

Frank met Al's gaze and the Potter boy averted his eyes quickly. But not before he'd caught the smile that had his mind reeling even more than it had been a moment ago. He was thoroughly confused, now.

Were they really just going to forget about this so easily?

"Hey, Albus, did you walk down here by yourself?" Rose gently patted her cousin's thigh, seeming like she was trying to convey that everything was alright. Perhaps the two of them had talked about the small. Perhaps they had decided they had caused it and…they could therefore forget about it?

"Uh…yeah, I guess I did," Albus said, his voice a bit scratchy and hoarse. He smiled at Rose, chuckling softly. "Didn't even realize, to be honest."

Rose laughed, genuine and completely normal. "Impressive!" she joked, then spooned herself a healthy helping of eggs. "I think that's one we can put in the win column, don't you think?"

Rolling his eyes, Albus felt the worry and anxiety roll off his shoulders. "You make me out to be some pathetic agoraphobic. I go plenty of places by myself…when I feel like it. I just like to have company." He allowed himself a small laugh and pushed his food away, no longer needing to eat to fill any sort of void.

"Hey," Albus was suddenly reminded, now that he was not focusing on is incredibly messed up personal life, "what potion did you guys get for your project?"

Frank and Rose both looked visibly exhausted just at the mention of the topic. Al laughed softly, bouncing into both of them a couple of times until Rose finally spoke. "Slughorn gave us Amortentia," she breathed out, her voice full of frustration. "I was reading the instructions last night…. I don't know how we're going to do this, honestly! Frank and I _suck_ at Potions class and this will just seal that fact. We won't pass."

"I'll help you with any questions you have…," Albus offered feebly, smiling between the two of them. They looked towards each other, giving small smiles full of hidden desires. "Anything to avoid seeing Malfoy every free moment I have." He snorted, looking away so they couldn't see how much he didn't mean that. "He's actually written up this detailed schedule of when precisely we have to do each step. It doesn't look like I'll get much down-time." _I hope…._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: How on a roll am I?! This will be the last chapter for the day and probably for a couple days. Savor it ;) And, as always, please review!**

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Transfiguration felt like it lasted eons that morning. Throughout the entire hour and a half that it lasted, Albus felt like he was going to explode. This was a class that he didn't share with the Slytherins. And right now, that was what he desired. He just couldn't sit still because he couldn't _see_ Scorpius Malfoy. His obsession was crippling and he honestly felt like he might die if Potions didn't come sooner.

He sat, fidgety, through lunch and watched the blonde pick at his salad. Every once in a while he would come across something that made his elegant, little button nose scrunch up in disgust. He would carefully pick it out, place it on a plate to his side and keep on eat. Each bite was careful and had purpose. Like he was trying to get the best parts in every bite.

"Stop staring at Malfoy," Rose said, giving him a sharp dig to his ribs. "You'll have to deal with him for a whole class period in just a short while. As daunting as that is, I don't understand why you can't keep your eyes off of him…."

Blushing, Albus quickly averted his eyes and shook his head furiously. "I'm…. I'm not staring at him. I'm just, um…dazing off a bit?"

"Whatever. He's trying to figure out who Malfoy slept with," Frank was quick to say, scratching at his chin and looking over his shoulder at the Slytherin table. When he turned back around, one of his cuts from that morning was leaking a small stream of blood.

His mouth dry, Albus grabbed his napkin and reached to wipe it off. Rose beat him to it, however, leaning over the table with her chest very exposed to Frank and her perfect ass stuck out a little bit. She smiled at the boy fondly, then set her finger to his chin and smeared the drop of blood off his skin. Clearly they had worked something out…. The way Frank looked back at Rose in return was like she was an absolute angel. And she stared at him in much the same way, except he was a hero to her.

"Well, if you're so interested, Allie," Rose said quietly, sitting back in her seat and wiping the blood onto a napkin, "just start thinking about it logically. Who in this school has the capacity to handle being in a bed with Malfoy scum?" she scoffed, standing and pulling her messenger bag up with her. "It can't be a rather large list, can it? Honestly, no girl I know could get past _him_ to even begin to see that he's attractive."

"You think he's attractive?" Frank almost sounded hurt, but his expression wouldn't let on.

Rose shrugged, looking at the Slytherin table one last time before signaling that she was ready to leave. "That's not something you can deny, Frankie. Malfoy has generations of good genes passed down to him. He might be a git and an asshole. All those types of things. But he does have a good head of hair and a fit body."

Both boys stood to follow her, not saying a word on the subject. Albus could tell that his cousin kept looking at him, expecting him to agree with her. And he _did_, but he wasn't about to voice that fact out loud. He couldn't without incriminating himself. He knew if he began to talk about how much he loved the way Scorpius looked, he wouldn't be able to stop himself saying how he felt about the rest of him.

"What's the potion you two have to do?"

The instant they were in the dungeons, the excitement inside of Albus was threatening to burst. He had a bit of a spring in his step that he tried very hard to hide. He smiled and headed for the corner of the classroom he and Scorpius had sat last time. "The Fertility Salve."

Frank snorted, halting Al's steps. He turned to look at him, head cocked to the side in question. "The Fertility Salve? I hope he's not expecting you to test it in the end."

"Hahaha!" Albus replied in mock laughter, sticking his tongue out at his friend. "Maybe the two of you can test it for us instead?" He winked, ignoring the noise of outrage Rose made back at him. It was half-hearted, anyway. She laughed a moment later and everything was forgiven.

"We could test it, if that's what you wanted…." Scorpius, his voice as smooth as his obvious sneer. "It'd be like a new level to your game. Then you would have someone to shower your copious amounts of warm love and affection on someone." That pale face radiated mischief as Scorpius raised one of his perfectly manicured eyebrows in challenge.

In that one instant, Albus could remember why exactly he had hated this boy so much before they had kissed outside the library. He clenched his jaw, staring at the blonde in disbelief. He then turned his head away and practically slammed his bag down onto the table, sitting just as Scorpius did. They were so in-sync and he hated it.

_And I thought I loved him…._

"You're a fucking prat," Albus spat and pulled the leather-bound notebook out of his bag. He slid it across the table angrily, then turned forward to wait for Slughorn to come in and give them instructions. Though he was sure the only plans for today were to figure out plans for the group projects. He didn't want to have to spend that much time with this _pig_.

"And you're a drama queen. I was only teasing." Scorpius leaned in closer to Albus, pretending like he was leaning down to scratch at his ankle. "Or would you prefer I take you on this table _right now_ in front of the entire class? Would that be more to your liking? Because…I thought you would prefer that I just pretended like nothing has changed between the two of us…." He straightened up, giving a wicked, toothy grin before pushing the journal back towards his partner. "I already have one. You keep yours…."

Professor Slughorn came in to the classroom, then, taking note that everyone was in their individual groups. He didn't seem to think he needed to bother with any sort of directing and merely sat down at his desk with a book. He looked up every once in a while, checking to make sure everything was copasetic.

"Thanks…," Albus said quietly, shaking his head to try and clear the cloudiness the Slytherin's breath had inflicted upon his mind. "Um...I saw the schedule this morning." He opened up to the first page of the book, scanning the dates and instructions again. "This is impressive work…." And just like that, with only a minimal explanation, Al was back to being a lovestruck schoolboy again. How could one person have such intense power over another?

Scorpius nodded, pulling his cauldron in between them. He had the instruction book for the potion close at hand and was scanning the first few steps. "We should get started with this. My timeline depends upon it." Close at hand, he had a few ingredients, one of which he reached for without even looking. His eyes were entirely focused on the book, finger scanning words on the page as his lips formed the words. Albus watched him in raptured delight, pretending to be reading the page as well.

"Stop staring at me," Scorpius hissed the instant he noticed. His eyes were narrowed, but he still seemed…almost pleased. Probably because he liked the attention. "You're not playing this whole thing very coy, you know. Your friends are bound to find out. And then what?" He looked up finally from the book, levelling the Gryffindor with a warning look. Too many of those and Al wouldn't be able to keep his feelings secret for very much longer….

"Stop looking so stunning, then," Albus whispered back, forcing himself to look down again. He wore a small blush, though he wasn't sure if it was from being caught or from actually feeling embarrassed that he'd actually said that aloud. "Sorry…." He bit his lip, flipping pages in the journal and still finding nothing else written. "Um…can we talk about this mysterious book?"

With a sigh, Scorpius forced himself to look up from his work. "It's a spell I devised. You write in the book, then close the cover…and it gets sent to mine." He nodded towards a stack of books to his side and Albus craned to look. There on the top sat a red version of his journal, Scorpius' name burned into the cover the same way. "If you don't wipe what you write before closing the cover, it will send whether you want it to, or not. And then we'll both be left with the evidence. So choose your words wisely. And don't send me love letters."

A subtle dig at the other night, no doubt. Albus cringed and snapped the book shut before shoving it in his bag again. "Don't expect any. Because I don't, and won't ever, love you." He smiled sickly and grew quiet.

There were a million and one things he _wanted_ to ask, wanted to say…. But he didn't want anyone to hear. He didn't even know how to begin talking about what had happened that weekend! He most definitely didn't even know if they were supposed to be acknowledging it outside of closed quarters….

The top thing he wanted to ask was why Scorpius had left the next morning without saying anything. It weighed on him – had he been that bad that he couldn't stand to be around him for the morning after? Or was he just doing his duty of keeping the whole love and sex thing separate? That was how it was supposed to be, after all. Date, sex, leave. The other things…they weren't supposed to happen. He'd almost messed that up. So he should have expected that kind of reaction, really. He should have expected some distance to be forced between them.

But at the same time…. He was falling fast and it was hard to handle.

He'd never felt like this before.

"Are you going to contribute today?" Scorpius asked nonchalantly, looking around the room before looking into Albus' eyes. The two of them – emerald and silver – connected for the briefest of moments, neither breathing, neither moving, neither looking away. Something magical pulsed between them – almost glowing and physically warming the air around them. If it had gone on any longer than a few seconds, Albus was sure people would notice. Luckily, the blonde had enough sense to break the contact swiftly and looked down at the table again. "Or are you going to stand there and make bedroom eyes at me this entire time?"

Through the rest of the class period, Albus found it increasingly difficult to keep to himself. His hands started to wander partway through, reaching over to look at the instruction book first. He just barely brushed their hands together then. After that, he would gently brush their knees together, intentionally swat away the other's hand in order to touch him, and even got so brave as to squeeze his leg when he performed a step well.

He was losing control over his every move.

Never in Albus' life had he been so grateful for the end of a class period. He'd been so excited to just get here and now…he felt if he stayed any longer, he would lose himself completely. He honestly couldn't wait to get to History of Magic and hear Professor Binns droll on and on for the next hour and a half. He knew he'd even take notes – anything to forget what was happening. Anything to keep himself detached.

"Make sure to read the schedule. We don't have class again until Friday, but I do have something planned for nearly every day. We'll meet at our table in the library." Scorpius muttered an incantation over the cauldron, sealing off the pinkish vapors it was currently emitting. "I'll keep the potion until then." He gave the barest of smiles, gathered the rest of his things, and was gone.

Taking Al's heart with him.

Sighing deeply, Albus continued to sit at the table. He felt like he had the other night – when Scorpius had so violently pulled out of him. He felt empty and abandoned. Fearful. Groaning, he allowed his head to _thunk_ heavily down upon the tabletop.

"One class down, how many more to go?" Frank gently prodded his friend's shoulder. "Merlin, you looked like you were in hell all class period."

"I was," Albus croaked out, raising his head and flashing a small, frustrated smile up at both Frank and Rose. "C'mon, let's go. He left behind this lingering stench of righteousness and I'm eager to be away from it."

They both laughed and Albus knew he was safe. No one noticed the way they would occasionally look at one another – like they knew every crack and crevice of each other's inner soul. Or was that just Al's imagination? He felt like he knew Scorpius inside-out, but maybe the other boy didn't know or care. He most likely didn't feel the same way. Perhaps his looks were fuller of heated lust. Imagining what he would do next time they were in a compromising position. Even that, though….

Shivering, Albus grabbed his things, making sure to keep a skin-to-leather hold upon the journal. It warmed under his touch for a few seconds, his name on the front glowing like embers again. He frowned at it, dying to know what it meant. But he had to settle for sneaking a peek later. He didn't want his friends asking questions.

_You're too obvious. Don't you know how to keep a secret? Don't you know you could ruin a lot of things if anyone found out about this bargain you have devised?_

_You're not supposed to fall for me. This is supposed to be fake. If you keep insisting upon touching me and flirting with me, I will have to call this off. Get your act together, Potter. I understand that you're new to this whole…sex without love thing. However, that is not an excuse. You wanted to do this. You need to do it the way we agreed._

Albus kept reading the words over and over again. He held the journal hidden within his massive History of Magic textbook. No one would ever notice. They might take notice to the fact that Albus looked like he wanted to punch something. His face was slightly red and he just glared at each and every word Malfoy had written to him.

Everything he had done in Potions class, the looks the gentle touches – they meant nothing to Scorpius. It was just as he'd expected and feared. _He_ meant nothing. He was a conquest. And why should that surprise him? He kept telling himself that this was just a deal they had worked out. That if nothing ever came of it, he would be fine. Why did he tell himself that? He obviously didn't mean it.

There was no denying it – not to himself, anyway – Albus Severus Fucking Potter was falling for Scorpius (Whatever His Middle Name Was) Fucking Malfoy. He was falling hard and fast and it wasn't something he could ignore. He was completely lost in everything that blonde git said and did. And he meant nothing…. They both knew this from the start, and somehow he just couldn't follow the guidelines.

When he had said that he'd loved Scorpius, with him powering over him that night, with their skin sliding against one another, with their mouths crushed and feeding off one another's breathe and moans and wine-drenched teeth, he had meant it.

He knew that. He was going to accept that. But with that acceptance came a pain he hadn't ever wanted to feel again. He felt used and betrayed and just wanted to die. Depression was filling his stomach and he wanted to vomit it up. He wanted to stay in bed and not talk to anyone for days and eat chocolate until he made himself sicker. This was how Aubadon and the two unimportant boys before him had made him feel. This time was supposed to have been different. He wasn't supposed to get attached like this so he couldn't get hurt like this.

He must have been pretty pathetic to knowingly put himself in such a position. Again.

A wave of nausea overcoming him, Albus closed the journal and slid it out of the book. He set it aside, looking at the see-through professor. He looked past him to the board, took a mental note of where they were in history, and laid his head back and stared at the ceiling. He drowned the ghost out with his own thoughts, knowing he could teach himself better later anyhow.

"Allie, let's go. Class is over." Albus was jerked back to life. His eyes opened, pulling him out of the almost-hypnotic dazed state he'd forced himself to be in. It was trick he'd forced himself to learn during his parents' divorce. If he couldn't see the world, couldn't hear the world…why should he have to fear the world? He looked up at Rose, nodding and gathering his things.

Another day over. Another day to tell him just what a mess he was. Another day that showed him just how much he hated to live and hated to be him.

"You gonna come down and watch us practice tonight, Rose?"

Albus looked up at Frank, his eyes wide, over his dinner. How had he gotten to dinner? Was he so out of it that he was losing time? "We have Quidditch practice tonight," he said plainly.

"Uh…yeah. Every Monday and Thursday. You sure you're alright, Al?" Both Frank and Rose were looking at him now like he'd grown two heads. This was the same practice schedule they'd had all four years he'd been on the team.

"Perfectly fine!" Albus said, and he sort of meant it this time. He had been afraid he'd have to Scorpius tonight. After that snide note in their special, stupid journals, he wasn't sure he could face that beautiful, self-righteous face tonight. And now he didn't have to! It was perfect and for once he was more than eager to go to practice. Under the table, he took the journal out from inside of his robes and scrawled a note before snapping it shut again. When he looked up at his friends, he wore a shit-eating grin and ate more beef stew than was possible for a boy his size.

_Quidditch practice tonight. Deal without me._

"Saturday's match was _atrocious_!" Her red hair whipping behind her wildly in the mild, fall wind, Lily paced in front of her team. She looked scary with her narrowed, bright brown eyes and her arms crossed across her chest. She wasn't a large girl – sure she had been growing into her curves – but she sure could be intimidating when she wanted to be. No doubt a trait she had inherited from her mother. "_None_ of you performed up to par. I'm half-tempted to scrap this _entire_ team and start over. But then I'm sure I'd just be worse off than I already am…." She sighed, stopping in front of everyone and flailed her hands up into the air. "What happened? Somebody please explain to me what _happened_!"

No one opened their mouth. All six players looked at their shoes, the darkening sky, the bleachers. Anywhere they didn't have to take accountability.

Albus especially couldn't meet his sister's gaze. He knew he had been distracted on Saturday and there had been no excuse for it. He was ashamed of what he'd nearly done to his team, his house, his sister who was supposed to admire him. More than anything at this second, he was very grateful he hadn't spat those hateful words he'd been thinking of in the common room. He probably wouldn't be sitting here any longer if he had.

"_Fine_," Lily spat, sitting heavily down upon the grass. Her skirt flew up with the wind for a moment, but she quickly drew her robes around her, unfazed. "We will all sit here and go position by position to figure it out. Starting with _Seeker_." She stared pointedly at Albus, waiting for an explanation.

If she had been anyone but his little sister, Al might have felt intimidated. But he just didn't. He sighed and shrugged, also taking a seat upon the cold pitch. They were losing light to practice in, but if this was the way she wanted things…. "I dunno, Lily. Maybe we underestimated the Slytherins. Or maybe we weren't ready. I suppose I didn't perform to my best ability. Is that what you want me to say? I'll take accountability for that. But ultimately I did catch the Snitch and we won."

"By the skin of our teeth, Albus! That's no acceptable! When James ran this team…." Their brother James had been the captain before he'd graduated. Lily had taken over right after and she'd always seemed to feel she needed to measure up. To prove herself. "When James ran this team, they were flawless and always won by miles. With half the team being the same, why aren't we still _winning_?" Lily let out a breath through her nose, rolled her eyes at her brother, and looked away. She must have decided his answer was satisfactory. He was off the hook – for now. "Beaters, then. Where'd you go wrong?"

The rest of the team had seated themselves by now. None of them looked too excited to be doing this exercise as they kept looking over at their abandoned brooms. But they seemed like they would cooperate. Their next match wasn't for a month, anyhow.

Frank was one of the Beaters. He was eagerly picking at the grass between his crossed legs. He shot a small look over at Al, clear annoyance in his caramel-colored eyes. The other beater, Alfred Bell, didn't say a word, either. Neither seemed too keen to share. Beaters weren't really…talkers, though. It was clear in the way they both fidgeted that they'd rather be whacking things with their bats.

"If none of you are going to take this seriously…." Lily's voice broken and suddenly everyone's eyes were back on her. She looked away quickly, but not before they saw one tear slide down her cheek. She took a few deep breaths, wiped at her face, then turned back to them with her eyes wild again. "If you won't take it seriously, I'll cancel this practice. You all can go back to whatever is more important than this team and be happy, little children again. Is that what you want?"

_No!_

Albus stood quickly, looking down at everyone in desperation. Someone needed to speak…. If he left practice, he had nowhere else to go but the library to help Scorpius…. He didn't want that! "Come on, guys!" he said on little more than a whisper. The rest of his words, however, were closer to shouts than whispers. "Someone else say something! We all did our fair share in nearly losing!"

Still, no one spoke up. Lily looked up at Albus with a small shake to her head, almost as if to say it wasn't worth it. He sighed heavily, stalking off to the Firebolt still hovering where he'd left it. "See? Albus cares?" he heard Lily say after he'd started to walk off. "I want the rest of you to write me an apology letter before next practice. Since you're cowards." She scoffed and soon Al could hear her scurrying along behind him.

It wasn't long before his sister caught up to him, huffing angrily beside him as she tried to match his quick pace. "Thanks for trying to stand up for me," she said gratefully to him, just as they came to the Entrance Hall. "Half of them are brainless, spineless arses anyway." She attempted a smile, which he could only half-return. "What?" she asked, reading him like an open book. Why was everyone able to do that?

"Nothing," he mumbled, gripping angrily at the broom handle. "I just really could have used a good practice tonight…. Now I have to go work with fucking Malfoy on our fucking Potions project." He groaned, hating the way his heart skipped a beat at the thought of being alone with that stupid boy.

"Oh…sorry," Lily offered up an apologetic smile, but it was too late. The deed had been done and he had to go through with the reaction. "Um…if he gets annoying, you can always start to offer him spiked drinks? Maybe that'd relax that stick up his ass." She giggled gently, surprising her elder brother with a sweet hug. Clearly their fight from the other night was completely forgotten. Something Albus would never understand…. How did people just forget their emotions that easily? He was still slightly ticked off at her…was she not with him? "Oh, Hugo!" Al flinched, watching her run off like he was a thing of the past towards the boy with the brilliant red hair. "Don't have too much fun, Allie!"

"Right…."

Albus took the walk up to the third floor as slowly as he could. He was hoping maybe he could reach the library late enough that it would close. He wasn't sure how far eight o'clock was…but it was most likely not any time soon. No amount of dawdling could save him at this point.

He walked into the library, head bowed and slightly nervous. He still had on his practice robes and noted that he still carried the Firebolt. Blushing, he tucked it behind his back before taking the labyrinthine path towards Scorpius' study corner. And just like a faithful guard dog, there he sat. He had the cauldron sitting on the desk beside where he was scribbling on a piece of parchment. He didn't even look up when Albus entered, but instead pulled out the seat beside him.

A seat Albus didn't dare take. He swallowed hard before propping the broomstick up on a bookshelf and took the chair across from Scorpius instead. Startled, the Slytherin looked up with a questioning gaze that masked his tired eyes. How long had he been sitting here studying? "Quidditch practice was…cut short," he said with a purposeful tone of disdain. Two could play the cold shoulder game.

"You're mad at me, now," Scorpius observed, pushing the chair beside him back against the table rather violently. He leaned closer to Albus, pushing his fingers into the mess of black hair atop his hair to push it out of his eyes. For a moment, he just searched the green orbs, trying to figure _something_ out. Al tried to wriggle away, but the grip on his hair was so tight that moving brought tears of pain to his eyes. "Are you mad because I called you out for flirting…or because you're mad I assumed you were?"

His teeth bared ferally, Albus grabbed at Scorpius' arm with his nails bearing down. "Let go of me, _Malfoy_. I'm not in the fucking mood." The only movement the other boy made was to reposition himself, his fingers tightening around the haphazard black locks. His raised a brow in challenge – one Albus was eager to meet. He growled low in his throat, eerily similar to the one he'd aimed at Frank that morning. Soon following was a reckless action he'd not thought through.

His teeth latched onto the pale forearm just barely in his reach, pulling his hair painfully. He wanted to scream and reach for his head. Wanted to make sure he hadn't lost chunks, but the black strands left in Scorpius clenched fist as he pulled away told him not to. "Did you just fucking _bite_ me?" Scorpius snarled, running his fingers over the deep imprint of Albus' teeth on his arm. There were two pinpricks of blood from the other's bottom canines. The Slytherin ran the pad of his thumb across them, smearing the tiny droplets.

When he looked up at Gryffindor across from him, Scorpius Malfoy had more passion in eyes than Albus thought capable for someone so heartless. He held his ground, hand on his wand and preparing himself with mental curses. He didn't want to fight in the library…but if he had to….

It seemed fighting was the last thing on the other's mind, however. He launched himself forward, sure, arms out towards Albus. But Scorpius didn't wrap them around his neck. He didn't punch him or kick out at him. Instead, his fingers tangled again in Al's hair, tenderly cradling his skull rather than tugging him into submission. He pushed the other up against a stack of books, causing a few to come crashing down on their heads.

The pair paid them no mind. Albus was already buckling under the weight of Scorpius' lips soon upon his. He keened for him, reaching back to grip his shoulder blades and bring him _closer_. He couldn't make sense of what was happening or what he was feeling in that moment. He'd have to try and understand the bloodlust he'd seen in those gorgeous grey eyes later when he relived this moment alone. But for now…this needed to just be _this_. They needed to live in the moment.

The moment where Scorpius ground hard against Albus' leg and he couldn't stop himself from answering with a bite to his shoulder to stifle a moan. The bite fueled the other on further and…he just didn't know why. All he knew was he didn't want it to stop. Ever.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I hope my darlings enjoy this sexy smut-fest chapter. Please make sure to review. If you don't know what to say, tell me what you liked. What you didn't like. I just appreciate the feedback.**

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Romance was supposed to be tender and careful. It was supposed to be about kisses that stole your breath away because of how perfect they were. It was planned gestures that were meant to bring smiles. Roses, chocolates, secret smiles, stolen moments, hand-holding, and love. Love, most importantly, probably.

Something romance was _not_?

Being dragged up through secret passages and stairs in the library until you reach the Astronomy Tower, where someone throws you down on the hard floor.

Albus hissed as the back of his head bounced up off the stone, but he didn't move an inch. Scorpius was above him, pulling his belt off with a sadistic grin. He looked evil and malignant in the light from the waxing moon above them. The beams and the darkness clashed together to form the perfect lighting to color him just right. His blonde hair glowed brightly and his nearly perfect, white teeth were visible even from the Gryffindor's position. He swallowed hard, suddenly finding it a bit difficult to breath.

This boy was stunning. Why did he need to sneak around with anyone?

"Let me," Albus whispered, sitting up and moving to a kneeling position in front of the other. Something about the lightning and the dangerous atmosphere had brought him to life. He was feeling…sexy and wanted to _worship_ this god above him. He grinned back up at the Slytherin, feeling braver than he had since he'd even been sorted into his house. His fingers easily found button to the other's trousers, working his fingers around them almost teasingly. Or at least that's how he made it seem. Really, his fingers were shaking a bit and he was having to use slow, deliberate motions to get anything done.

Once the button was popped, he easily slid the zipper down. It was then that he looked up at the Malfoy boy. Their eyes met and Al couldn't help but to let out a small, anxious laugh. Scorpius tangled his fingers in the mess of black hair below him with one hand, bringing the other up to lick at the blood still only barely pooling in his bite wound. Albus gasped, unsettled by how much he loved the image.

He quickly looked back down, straight ahead at his target. He took a deep breath in and let it out as he shimmied the dress pants down to Scorpius' ankles. "You're almost luminescent out here," he said under his breath, reaching up to slip his fingers under the stark, white dress shirt and grey uniform vest. "Like a ghost. Or a vampire." He grinned, the bloodlust he'd seen so plainly in the other's eyes bringing strange visions to his mind. Gently, he lifted the coverings up and leaned forward to press soft kisses to Scorpius' lower belly.

The noise the Slytherin made…. It was like vocal ecstasy. It made Albus _melt_. He shivered happily and gripped the boy's thighs before kissing him just a hair lower. "_Fuck_, Albus…," Scorpius groaned, thrusting his actually underwear-clad genitalia closer to the other. "Don't be a tease."

Frowning, but still managing to look positively adorable, Albus shifted back just a bit and sighed up at Scorpius. He didn't know how to be a tease. So…wasn't he already not be a tease? He bit his lip, watching annoyance slide onto that gorgeously florid face. He offered up a shaky smile and nodded, sliding back into position before the other boy. "I've just never done this before," he whispered, hoping his explanation was satisfactory.

"You're off to a good start," Scorpius said with a lascivious grin, backing up against a wall, bringing the Potter boy shuffling after him. "But you need to take off the rest of the…clothes in the way." He did a small wiggle of the hips, waggling his goods in front of Albus' eyes.

Again, Albus nodded and returned his eyes to the boy's midsection. He forced himself to actually look further down now, blushing as he realized just how close he was to Scorpius' manhood. He was thankful for the darkness so that it could hide the shaky way his breath was coming in and out as he reached up to tug at the plain white briefs. In one, swift motion, he had the small scrap of clothing down with the trousers and he completely stopped breathing.

There was this beautiful organ before him that he just…had a hard time believing to be real. He'd had this _inside_ of him and yet…seeing it this close was a different story. A stark contrast to the rest of this almost colorless body, Scorpius' cock was a dark, throbbing purple. It was already standing half at attention, almost reaching out towards Albus in longing. He licked his lip nervously, leaning in and wrapping his fingers around the creamy thighs before him.

How they had come to this point just…didn't matter. They had flipped and this was…something different than they were just moments ago. But this something new was exciting and scandalous. He wouldn't want to trade this moment for anything in the world right now. Even if tomorrow it wouldn't mean anything. "Just…promise to help me," Al whispered, leaning in to gently kiss the swelled head before him.

Scorpius gasped in response, his member rising to attention. He couldn't promise or voice any sort of agreeance in his state. But he was able to nod eagerly and grab onto that mop of hair again, pulling Albus in closer.

He must have been doing something right….

Feeling a little more comfortable, Albus repositioned his footing and leaned in again. He took a breath and let it out on the heated flash, pressing a more open-mouthed kiss onto the side of the cock before him. Slowly, he moved his hands from holding onto Scorpius' legs to bring them to a more adventurous position. With the opportunity to worship a cock…he was going to take all the liberties he could. He slipped his fingers into the curls at the base of the member. He narrowed his eyes in the bare light, examining their color and grinning. He could only match it to the manicured eyebrows and fluttering eyelashes above him and it was such a beautiful contrast to the stark blonde of the head full of curls.

The more he witnessed, the more adventurous Albus became. He shivered eagerly in the cold nip of the air, sliding those fingers again to take a chilly hold of the heated flesh. Both boys arched their backs in mutual rapture. Albus smiled, dragging just the tip of his tongue over the already weeping slit. He then snuck a peek up at the recipient, reveling in the way he was coming completely undone.

Feeling powerful and in control.

The small amount of fluid Albus had lapped up was unlike anything he had ever tasted. The longer it fermented in his mouth, the more he found he liked it. Sort of. It was sour and salty, and yet there was a hint of sweetness to it. It was that sweeter part that he liked was curious to try more of. He eagerly slid his tongue deeper inside the tip – desperately trying to get anything he could.

Above him, Scorpius began to squirm, his fingers hovering in the air over the Gryffindor's hair. He didn't latch on, but Albus knew he wanted to. He wanted to be in control. He was always in control….

"C'mon, Albus…_suck it_."

Flashing a mischievous grin up at his lover, Albus opened his mouth and took a leap. He pulled in about half of the massive length before him, closing his eyes and sighing in something like content. Though he wasn't sure why, this felt…right. And he was actually pleased that he could make the boy shake under his ministrations. He ran his tongue over the sensitive underside, following a vein back down to the tip and dragging his lips slowly across the sensitive flesh.

"_Fuck_…."

Scorpius didn't hold back any longer. He thrust his fingers into the messy, dark hair and gripped tight. He didn't push or force he just…held. It was almost a reassuring gesture that let Albus know he was doing okay. This was a good start.

Albus took in a deep breath through his nose, sucking on the tip once more before deciding to try more. As he let the air out, he took as much of the length in as he could. He didn't have a large mouth, but he felt he did pretty well. When he stopped, tears coming to his eyes from the almost-triggered gag reflex, his nose was just barely skimming those dark curls. He backed off again for just a moment before sucking the cock right back in and allowing the tip to jab against the back of his through for just a second.

"A-Al…get off." Albus startled, pulling his mouth back to milk a little bit more pre-cum from that delicious slit. "_Fuck_, Albus…. I want to come inside of you. Get _off_." The blonde yanked at Albus' hair, pulling him away and shoving him back down on the ground. This time he had the time to actually brace himself, but he could still feel the beginnings of bruises on his elbows.

No more than a few seconds later, Scorpius was kneeling over him. He was quick to push away the Quidditch robes and undo the blue jeans underneath. "Why are you always dressed in such horrid clothing?" the blonde asked on a hiss, but with his eyes shining like that, it was hard to take him serious. He yanked the pants and boxer shorts down all in one, reaching at the same time for his wand. It wasn't long before his fingers were slicked with a spell Albus would have been humiliated to try and learn. He was sticking them inside of Al, then, causing him to forget that trivial thought. He was grateful Scorpius knew it – it felt amazing to have any part of him inside of him.

"Hands and knees," Scorpius said on a ragged breath, stretching two fingers inside of the other.

"What?" Albus asked quietly. His brain was fuzzy – he was having trouble processing the simplest of words with the way he was being touched.

Even with the darkness making it impossible to see the Slytherin properly, Al knew he was rolling his eyes. He was frustrated in more ways than one. Blushing, the Gryffindor shook his head and thought back over what he had been told. _Hands and knees…._ He wanted him on his hands and knees so he could take him from the back. Meaning he wouldn't get to see any of the beautiful faces he pulled. He bit his lip, wanting so badly to protest. But at the same time…he didn't want this to end for any reason. He would just do as he was told for now.

Very careful not to dislodge those long, probing fingers from inside of him, Albus flipped his position. He propped himself up as instructed, his knees digging into the stone underneath him uncomfortably. From this position, he couldn't see anything. He didn't know why the other removed his fingers or what was going to come next. He shivered, stemming from both anticipation and the cold, night air around them.

And then, just as Albus was starting to think maybe Scorpius had left him, there was a subtle sensation to his entrance. He gasped, holding his breath as he was filled so _completely_. The Slytherin was thrusting in him, deep and hard and fast, sealing them together as one whole person instead of two broken shells. The rough texture of the stone under him was scratching his palms and knees and he could feel the blood just begin to pour. He'd leave marks when they were finished but he just didn't _care_. It felt so good….

The first time they had done this, it had been slow and careful and calculated. It had been a textbook first time. But they were past that now. Somehow they'd tapped into something more passionate. This time, Scorpius didn't even need to touch Albus' cock to get him too release. He was already there by those reckless thrusting motions.

And then their angle shifted just slightly and it was all over for him. Al's eyes flashed open and he let out a scream, splashing his seed over that cold stone floor. "Oh, _fuck_, what did…. What did you just do?" he asked on the most ragged of breaths, tingling from his shaking arms down to his toes. He'd never felt anything like that…. It was like his whole body was frozen and on fire all at once.

"Hit your prostate, most likely," Scorpius hissed, gripping Albus' hips so tight he might leave bruises. "Clearly…you've never been fucked adequately." His low chuckle was menacing and took Al's breath away.

"Tell me you love me again."

Frowning, Albus craned his neck to try and look back at the other boy. But in this darkness and at this angle, he couldn't see a thing. Eventually he gave up and sighed, letting his sweat-drenched forehead rest against the cool stone. He so badly wanted to know why he was supposed to say something that had absolutely outraged the blonde only two nights earlier. But at the same time…he felt this was something he wasn't supposed to question. He sighed softly, bit his lip and just…let it go. Trying as hard as he could not to let it show that he actually meant it with everything he was.

"_I love you, Scorpius…._"

An intense heat splashed inside of Albus and Scorpius gave a few more of those haphazard thrusts to ride out his orgasm. Both boys breathed harshly together, their bodies rising and falling against one another as they slumped into a tired heap on the floor of the Astronomy Tower. Scorpius wrapped his arms tightly around the other boy, not even bothering to remove himself from inside of him. It was important to remain this close. Just for now.

"We should heal your...your cuts." Scorpius' whisper tickled Albus' ear.

He smiled softly and turned in the boy's arms, pulling the satisfying length out as slow as he could. Once he could see the lust-blown silver eyes, he shook his head back and forth soundlessly. It was then that he stole a kiss, giggling as he buried his face in the Slytherin's chest afterwards.

"Albus, don't be ridiculous. They could get infected." Scorpius reached over to where the Gryffindor had been kneeling a moment before. His blood had stained the floor. He ran his finger over one of the handprints, coming up with a red fingertip. He examined the blood seriously for a second, then sighed and sat up, wiping his finger off on Al's crimson robes. "I'll fix them. It might sting for a moment." He looked around for his wand, finding it lying a few feet away.

After pulling his clothes back on, he crawled over to it, picked it up, and crawled right back over. His expressions were guarded. As much Albus tried to read into them, he found that Scorpius was a brick wall. He was…closed-off and Al was pretty sure he lived mostly on borrowed emotions. Did he ever really feel for himself? Sighing, he sat up himself and held his hands out towards his temporary lover. "Go ahead, then."

Scorpius nodded, running his wand wordlessly over the scrapes on the other's palms. They had taken the brunt of the injuries, but sealed right up leaving not a single trace of what had been. His knees were next and he even was nice enough to clear his release out from inside of Albus. Afterwards he was able to redress as well. "Thank you," he whispered, reaching up to feel the back of his head. It was sore, but when he pulled his hand back, it didn't seem to be cracked open. "Are you going to heal yours?" he asked as he looked back up at Scorpius, finding where he'd bitten him earlier.

The thing that started all of…this….

"I might leave it. As a reminder." Scorpius chuckled darkly, standing up without another word and heading to leave.

This time Albus wouldn't allow him to leave alone. He scrambled to his feet as well, rushing after the blonde in desperation. "A reminder of what, exactly?" he asked as they went back the way they came, crossing through all of the passageways and secret doors easily.

"That Albus Potter actually has a fierce and dirty side. Who would have guessed?"

There was something about the glint in those gorgeous, grey eyes that Albus knew he didn't like. He gritted his teeth, taking the rest of the way back to their table in the library in silence.

"We didn't have a date before this one," he said quietly as he sat down in his chair. Like nothing had even happened. "That breaks our deal a bit, doesn't it?"

Scorpius shrugged, watching Albus carefully. Watching the way he squirmed under his gaze. How he couldn't sit still and had to be fidgeting with his sleeve. "I'll make it up to you," he said simply. It almost even seemed like he meant it.

"Alright…. Um, what do we have to do tonight?" Albus asked under his breath, averting his eyes back down to the table. He felt way too intimidated to meet the other's eyes. He might have also been a bit ashamed of what had happened not that long ago. They had fucked so passionately, so vividly that he wasn't sure he could forget it…. But if he wanted not to love this boy, he _had_ to.

"I've already finished everything for tonight."

Albus frowned, looking up at the cauldron on the table. It was no longer emitting pink vapors, but instead sat motionless, swirling its blue, sparkling self. "Oh, um…. Good work," he praised and sat back down. "That's how it's supposed to look at this point, right?" Scorpius replied with a nod, then pulled a roll of parchment closer, writing fluidly upon it. "Great. Um…sorry I wasn't able to contribute." He cleared his throat, watching that beautiful, almost calligraphic writing ink onto the paper. "So…."

Clearly frustrated, and probably annoyed, Scorpius snapped his once-again-steely eyes back onto Albus. "You can leave. I won't stop you. We don't need to make…false niceties. We're not some…sippin' on sunshine type of couple that needs to force conversations post-coitus. So if you feel awkward…maybe it's time to go." He raised a brow in challenge, then looked right back down at his parchment.

Swallowing hard his pride, Albus stood up from the table and reached for his abandoned broomstick. He wanted to say something before walking off…. Wanted to make it seem like this was a closed day. He just didn't know what words to use. So he had no choice but to leave silently. He a few steps away, stopping to look with regret at the blonde beauty. Then turned and strode off quickly as he fought the urge to tell the boy that he loved him again.

That could ruin this good thing they had going.

And it really was good. As much as it was messed up and probably unhealthy to his mental stability, this felt like the best relationship Albus had ever experienced. It might not have even been an actual relationship. But it was still somehow better than even the way he got on with his family and friends. And it was infinitely better than any of those three boys that had hurt him over the summer.

If he had to lie to himself and the one he was starting to fall head-over-heels in love with in order to keep this, he would. He would stop at nothing for this. Even if it was an extremely embarrassing secret that he might have to take to his grave.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! Albus' anger threw me off a bit in the middle and I'm like whoaaaa. I had to figure out how to calm him down a bit... But I'm finished! Here you are, hopefully I can get another chapter up this weekend. As always, please review!**

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Conflicted, torn up, and starting to feel an ache throughout his entire body, Albus crossed the four floors up to Gryffindor tower. He entered the common room and passed right on through without even looking around. He didn't care who was there, anyway. He just…wanted to be alone. Frank couldn't say a single witty thing to make him feel better right now. Rose couldn't pry any secret out of him tonight. What he really needed was just a good, solid night all by himself. Again.

And he was sure they would both be asking why the next day. But right now he just didn't care. For now…he just needed to sit and think. Alone.

He climbed up to his dormitory, closing the door resolutely behind him and leaning against it. After only a minimal scope of the room, he collapsed to the floor, his whole body shaking with sobs. He wasn't the type to cry – honest. Usually he could express his emotions in other ways. He could count on one hand the amount of time she had let loose with tears since he'd became a teenager; and only one of them had been for all three boys that hurt him over the summer. But this time…something was different. Something was tearing inside of him. He felt broken and bent in strange ways he couldn't describe.

Was this what it felt like to grow up? To mature and to fall in love? Or was this just…a shitty side-effect to his shitty choices?

He pressed his palms deep into his eye sockets, curling his knees up to his chest. What he wanted more than anything right now was to feel whole and complete. But he just couldn't help but to feel like there was a piece of him missing right now. Scorpius had stolen it. He had taken it from him and it felt like the only way to get it back was to sleep with him. And that can't have been normal.

Any sort of love that felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest could not be normal in the slightest. Albus was sure of this. He had never been _in_ love, really. And yet…he just had this innate feeling….

It could be possible that the reason he was feeling so torn up, though, stemmed from Scorpius' need to brush all of this off. He was very adamant that this was not _anything at all_. As much as Al might want it to be…. So that was...making him feel split inside? Was that possible? That he could hurt this bad from feeling rejected?

It really was all his fault to begin with, though. He had suggested this from the get-go. He had been the one to say that they should go down this rollercoaster ride. But…he really had thought he would be okay. Never in a million years could he have predicted that he would fall this fast for Scorpius Malfoy, of all people. And he was still lost as to how it exactly had happened.

How _had_ this happened?

"A-Albus…?"

Gasping startlingly loud, Albus jumped and looked out from behind his knees. Frank, missing his shirt and donning a dark blush, was kneeling next to him. He reached out to place a reassuring hand over the crying boy's, offering a small smile. "Albus, why are you crying? Did…?" He took in his friend's disheveled appearance – his mussed up hair, the dirt on his pants, a strange stain on his robes – before his eyes turned hard. He was immediately standing up, his fists clenched tight at his sides. Albus had never seen him so…tough. It was equally enthralling and worrisome. "Did he hurt you?! If that little Malfoy shit did something to you…. I'll kill him. He won't get away with whatever he did."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Albus jumped to his feet, as well, stepping forward to place calming hands upon Frank's chest. "Frankie, chill. Okay? Please…. Malfoy, um…. He didn't do anything to me. I swear," he lied easily, hoping his hair was at least covering the tips of his ears. No matter how spot on his tone was, they always turned flaming red when he avoided the truth. "The reason I'm crying is…. Well, it's private. I'd prefer not to say, if that's alright. I'm fine, though." He tried for something like a smile to try and ease his friend down a few notches. He knew it came out looking incredibly forced, though. "Honest. I'm…. I just need some sleep, I think. Exhausted. You know?"

"All of this lying, Albus, is rather unnecessary, don't you think?"

The instant he heard Rose's voice, Albus suddenly became very angry. He wasn't positive why, exactly, but he just knew he didn't want her here for any reason. His eyes flicked over to Frank's bed where the curtains were mostly drawn. The only part that was open had his cousin's head poking out of it, all of her wildly curly hair looking frizzy and unkempt. He looked away from her adamantly, clenching his hands tight at his sides. "Rose…why are you in here…?"

She seemed to miss Albus unbridled wrath because Rose actually had the gall to giggle. This only served to worsen the hate in the Potter boy's eyes. "Really, Allie? You can't guess what Frank and I could be doing in his bed with the curtains sealed?" Eyebrow raised, she made a point of looking Albus over in return. She noticed his state easily, knowing it very well. "Since I'm sure you've been out doing the same thing, I don't think you're one to judge, either."

If there was an emotion past extreme anger, Albus was there. He could feel his nails tearing into the palms of his hands and the sound of his heartbeat was like a roaring in his ears. All he wanted was to rush over to that bed and rip his cousin's throat out. This type of irrationality wasn't normal for him. All of the things he had done today…where had they come from? He questioned them in that instant.

And yet he didn't question _anything_ about wanting to take revenge on Rose for her words. He stalked across the room, every motion calculated and menacing. Her eyes followed him, racing a brow as if she didn't believe what she was seeing. Her cousin, who wouldn't hurt a fly even on a bad day, seemed to be losing control. "Don't presume to know what I've been doing," Albus said under his breath, the timbre of his words oozing a deep-rooted darkness.

"Oh, come on, Albus!" Rose nearly shouted, a smile wide across her face. She didn't take him serious. She was _laughing_ at him! She thought this was a joke! "You've got orgasm written in your eyes!" she shouted, removing herself completely from the bed. Her shirt was also missing, but she still had on her bra. With a chest as large as hers, though, this didn't mean much. "And I can tell a spunk stain when I see one. Albus, you've been out copulating, and you can't hide that from me." At the end, she winked, trying to keep playful.

Albus didn't want to have it, though. He wasn't ready to let this out in the open. If he admitted to having shagged someone, they would want to know who. And…he just couldn't reveal that. They just needed to mind their own goddamn business….

And yet...if he continued to try and defend his personal space, they wouldn't let up with the questions. If he flipped out right now on both of his best friends, he might lose them in the process of keeping something questionable intact. Was it really worth it? This one moment of thinking in the midst of his outrage could be what saved him if only he were to listen to it….

As he loosened his fists, Albus took in a deep breath and let it out. It was something his parents always told James to do when he would get angry. It always seemed to work for him and it gave him a sense of himself at this moment. His anger started to dissipate, giving him a more rational sense of the situation.

The best thing to do was just forget it. Go back to himself and his usual ways and just let this roll right off his back. And then hide.

"I'd rather not talk about it," he said calmly, coolly, and moved over towards his own bed. "Just as I would prefer not to talk about whatever you two might have been doing before I came in. Please respect this. _Please_." He looked up only to give a firm and meaningful glance to both of his friends. They were staring at him like something foreign and alien. But that didn't matter. As long as they listened to him, this could all just blow off in the metaphorical wind.

A few minutes passed before anyone else was able to say anything. Albus had climbed into his bed and had rid himself of his dirty clothing. He was ready to try for some sleep and was in the process of climbing under the covers. It wasn't until then that Rose spoke up with a small nod, attempting a smile. "Sure, Allie. We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to." She stood from Frank's bed and pulled what had been shed of her clothing back on. "What kind of friends would we be to disrespect your privacy?"

With a grateful nod in return, Albus drew the curtains around his bed and cast the appropriate silencing spells. He was alone in his own little place and he felt _safe_. He felt like he could let loose again those tears he'd begun earlier. They streamed down his cheeks just as easily as they had before, wracking his chest violently with each sob. He broke more and more apart with every single drop into his hands.

Right now, he would have given the world to be off snuggling up to Scorpius' side instead of crying like a pathetic mess in his bed. He wanted to be basking with him in this love that was beginning to bud inside of him. He didn't _want_ to be afraid of what might happen with these feelings. All he wanted…was to revel in the moment of it.

Even though he didn't want this cavity inside of him to hurt more, Al found himself thinking back to what they had done this evening. The purely carnal, bloodlust-driven, raw sensuality of it coming back in vivid detail. Every bite, suckle, kiss, raptured moan, and whispered intoxication made his flesh feel like it was ion fire in that moment. He groaned, coming out watery and pathetic as he slid further under the sheets. He wanted to sink into them and never have to return to the world for any reason. He wanted to become forgotten and wasted so he might not have to feel this way ever again.

Desperate for some sort of answer – any sort of answer to anything – Albus reached for the journal he'd stuck under his pillow again. He pulled it close, flipping to the last page that had anything written upon it. It was still when he had told Scorpius he wouldn't be able to make it to the library earlier that night. There was no secret profession of love as he might have hoped. No small note on how wonderful he had been that night. Nothing to suggest that the other missed him or his body in any way, shape, or form. He felt a little disheartened by this, but at the same time he wasn't exactly surprised.

A weakened form of anger returned and he took ahold of the pen he had stuck inside the book. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say, but Al set ink to the page, anyway, allowing his emotions to guide him. And without reservation, he began to write. His words transcribed upon the page without allowing thinking to hold him back.

It wasn't until he had finished that he even looked over the words. He allowed the meaning of every single one to sink in and just stared at the page in shock.

It was a letter of complete and utter confession.

_I want to avoid you._

_I want to avoid everything about you._

_Scorpius…I just wish I could never see you or anything that you might become every again._

_But I'm weak._

_And I'm in love._

_And the way I feel when I _do_ see you makes me understand that I can't stay away from you._

_I know you don't feel the same way._

_I know you hate everything I am with everything you are._

_Don't bother trying to deny it, it's clearly written upon your face._

_To you, I'm just this object to fuck._

_I'm just something you can use._

_And, worse than that, I want to be that think that you fuck and use to the end of this earth._

_I know that's wrong._

_I know I wasn't supposed to fall for you._

_But the fact remains that I have and I cannot deny that and feel whole._

_I love you._

_I need you._

_The rest is up to you._

Albus Severus Potter…had written a rather dumb and unrhyming piece of romantic poetry…. He scanned the words, his lip peaking in disgust as he finished. The words made his stomach churn uncomfortably and he knew what they would cause in Scorpius were he to send it.

"Fuck this," he whispered and tore the page out, tossing it to the end of his bed. He put it out of his mind. He didn't want to think about that bile-inducing piece of prose. Were he to ever send something like that to the Malfoy boy, everything would be over. They could never be the same again. It was almost a love letter, and he had vowed not to send any of those. That one piece of paper could end everything he was secretly strived for.

He would start again.

_Why didn't you allow me to finish sucking you off? Was it…horrible? I can try and do better next time._

That was better. That was neutral and lacked feeling; it was only lust. It was safe to send something like that, so he closed the cover and didn't think a single second on it. A small, satisfied smile came through his emotions as he tried to compose himself. He wiped the tears from his cheeks, taking a deep breath in and letting it out swiftly. Breathing seemed to be key to this whole wayward emotions thing.

Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, Albus laid fully back upon his pillows. He pulled the cover snugly around him and curled into his signature fetal-like sleeping position. But he made sure to have the journal right by his side, tilted and angled just so that he would be able to see when a reply came in. He just wanted to see Scorpius' beautiful calligraphic handwriting before he went to sleep. He wanted to see something endearing come from that boy.

If he couldn't fall asleep in his arms, protected from all harms, then this would have to do as the next best thing.

No replies came that night. Eventually Albus just drifted off to sleep somewhere after midnight, feeling slightly like a trainwreck.

He woke the next morning with the worst headache he'd ever felt accompanied by dull pain in every single one of his joints as well as his backside. He hissed as he sat up, hating the internal clock inside of him for not allowing him a little extra sleep this morning. Instinctively, he checked the journal and found no glowing words upon the cover. Just to be sure, he frantically checked inside to see if there were any new words.

Nothing.

For a moment, he forgot to breathe. He felt like the air around him was rushing around him and he was just…sitting there. Frozen. Slowly, he managed to swallow the lump in his throat and closed the cover once more. Sealing off the lack of wording.

He had to tell himself that Scorpius wasn't ignoring him. He wasn't purposefully not answering him back to make him feel like the less than nothing person that he was. He was just…busy. No doubt he had assignments – any thoughts of which to his own Albus had completely neglected. He was most likely sleeping last night, as well. It wasn't right to assume he could drop everything and reply right away.

Right?

It still took a moment longer than it should have, but Albus managed to compose himself. He thrust open his curtains, taking in the rest of his sleeping dormitory with satisfaction. All was normal. He could pretend things _were_ normal if only they stayed as such. He continued to take measured breaths – something he was sure he would have to keep doing the rest of the day – as he dressed and gathered everything he would need for today's lessons. Herbology and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

They were fairly easy classes, even for being N.E.W.T. levels. He could handle them. Defensive spells were something he could perform in his sleep – all part of being prepared. And plants…they were plants. He didn't have to do much in that class except follow simple instructions and read text. He wouldn't have to give much focus towards this day and he was grateful for that. He knew he couldn't possibly be on his best attention today, anyway.

The last thing Al stuffed inside of his bag, almost reluctantly, was the journal. He didn't want to be constantly reminded all day to check it. But at the same time…he knew he would regret leaving it behind. What if Scorpius did reply and he wasn't able to read it right away?

Sighing heavily, he shouldered the bag and headed as he usually did for Frank's bedside. Biting his lip, he noted the drawn curtains and very hesitantly took ahold of one of them. He wanted to fling them aside and wake him. At the same time…he was pretty sure he knew why they were closed. Frank wasn't likely to sleep alone inside of them.

"Um…Frankie? Time to get ready…?" Wincing in expectation, he pulled just enough to sleep a sliver inside the encased bed. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, but when they did he definitely noted two bodies, however much they were entangled together to seem like one. He cleared his throat, a slight measure of confidence returning as soon as he was sure they were both clothed. "Rose," he whispered, slipping behind the curtains and kneeling at the foot of the bed to shake his cousin's leg.

The redhead yawned and blearily opened her eyes just slightly to look at him. Her arms clutched tightly around Frank as she closed them again, sighing happily. "Morning," she barely murmured in response and gave no motion to show that she was going to move.

Albus hated people that disliked mornings.

Giving a frustrated sigh, he managed to crawl over both bodies in order to shake her shoulder. "Rose, get up. You want to be gone before everyone else is awake. Trust me…."

"Oh, shove off, Allie," Rose grumbled back in response, reaching up to weakly push at his chest. She did, however, sit up this time. It was at least an effort to get out of bed. Her hair stuck out in a frizzy nest even more so than the night before and her eyes were shrouded in day-old makeup. But at least she was clothed this time. Half-aware of her state, the girl pulled the hem of her stupidly pink shirt up to wipe at the black under her eyes. The result was a nasty looking stain upon the fabric that she was likely not to notice. "Why should I get up…?"

Settling back onto the end of the bed, Albus watched her with narrowed eyes to make sure she wasn't going to lie back down. "Because the rest of the guys are likely to give you shit for sleeping over. Not sure how public you're wanting to make this…_thing_ between the two of you…."

Her eyes still glazed over with sleep, Rose looked down at Frank. He was still sleeping soundly like nothing was even going on. He looked innocent and sweet and Al could tell that his cousin was considering this. She bit her lip and nodded slowly before wriggling out from beneath the blankets. "Thanks," was all she whispered before peering outside the curtains and then disappearing.

"I don't think any one of our dorm mates would say anything negative to her…."

Albus shrugged, unbothered, but didn't meet Frank's eyes. He really was just trying to protect her…but he couldn't deny that he was satisfied she wasn't here to disturb the atmosphere of their strictly 'boy' zone. "She could have at least kissed you goodbye." Without a word further, he crawled out of the bed, as well, and waited for Frank to follow suit.

"She might have if you weren't such a jealous prick."

_Jealous?_ Wincing and feeling an unfamiliar fire ignite inside his belly, Albus walked a few steps away from his friend. What did he have to be jealous of in the other's book? He had not a single feeling of romance towards Frank – they were best friends! And Rose was his cousin, not to mention that she was inherently female. He wasn't _jealous_. That was preposterous. "Just trying to help," he whispered quietly, crossing his arms but remaining completely detached from everything. He didn't want to start a fight today. He just wanted…normal.

"Yeah, well…." Frank shrugged and sighed deeply, eyes narrowed as he tried to read his friend. He dressed quietly, throwing small looks over to the other every few moments. Al wasn't sure why, but he wasn't going to read into it today. He didn't care enough.

"We didn't have sex last night, by the way."

Nose wrinkled in disgust, Albus met one of those glances and raised a brow. And why would he care if they had? They were free to shag all they wanted. That didn't concern him. Why? Because he wasn't jealous. And he was going to continue to ignore that growing feeling in his stomach that he couldn't identify to prove that. "Sorry? Is that what you want me to say? I cock-blocked you and I'm sorry?"

Frank actually managed a snorting type laugh. He straightened his tie and crossed to his friend, squeezing his shoulder gently and meeting his eyes with a genuine smile. "Nobody says 'cock-blocked' anymore, Al. And I wasn't looking for an apology. I was…just trying to reassure you."

Albus looked up at his slightly taller friend. (Okay, at six foot four he was exactly eight inches taller, but that didn't matter….) He took in the smile and the laugh and the kind way he was speaking. He took it all into consideration, brows knitting together as he pieced it all together. His mind worked in puzzles and if he could deduce that this was a normal fit for all of these different factors, he could allow this day to go on as planned.

"Okay," he said finally, bringing his own upturn of lips into play. "Well, thank you. I am satisfactorily reassured. Can we get breakfast now?" The smile widened slightly as he turned away and headed for the door.

Today could be a good day. He could _make_ it a good day.

"You're limping!"

Eyes wide, Albus stopped walking partway down the stairs that linked the Gryffindor common room to its dormitories. He adjusted the level of pain he would decide to show and resumed his steps calmly. "No, I'm not," he whispered, almost screaming on the inside from the force it took to keep his movements normal.

The eyeroll was obvious in Frank's voice. "Yes you are!" He caught Al's arm, stopping them both and looking his friend deep in the eye. Again. What was it about his eyes that were so telling to _his_ emotions in particular? Was there a screen inside of them that read out exactly what he was feeling? When he was lying? When he was hurting? When he was hollow? "Al, why are you limping? Is your…leg injured?"

_No, I got pounded last night. I don't expect you to understand…._

"I tripped," Albus lied, jerking away and finishing his descent as quickly as possible.

Frank followed hesitantly, his eyes narrowed and his arms crossing over his chest as he reached the bottom step. From there he just kept staring at his friend, watching the way he was walking. Calculating it all and finding that it just wasn't adding up right…. "This has something to do with last night, doesn't? Rose was right."

"I usually am!" Rose laughed as he came down from the girls' side of the dormitories, wearing a fresh set of robes and looking flawlessly put together for just being away from them for such a short time. She stopped beside Frank, giving him a smile that lasted slightly too long for Albus' taste. Then turned to look at where her cousin had stopped, a few feet from the portrait hole. "What am I right about this time?"

Sighing softly, Frank leaned in closer to his friend – _girlfriend?_ – and whispered something that caused her to bring her had up to her mouth to conceal a giggle. Today, this frustrated him more than embarrassed or angered him. He rested back against the wall, allowing them to gossip and come to whatever conclusion they wished. In the end, though, he wouldn't _have_ to share anything and that's what reassured him.

"Okay, so…you're limping today. Or walking funny. Whatever. I was right about last night, then. Wasn't I?"

Albus shrugged, examining his fingernails with great interest. "I thought we weren't going to talk about this," he said just loud enough for them to hear over the few people between them in the common room. Most everyone was either still sleeping or down at breakfast already, so he wasn't too worried about privacy. "You know…because I don't want to."

With the utmost abandon and synchrony, the two began to laugh. At him. They looked at one another, Rose reaching out to clutch at Frank's arm as she nearly doubled over. Al merely wrinkled his nose in distaste and rolled his eyes, watching them come over to him with feigned indifference. "Oh, sweety," Rose said gently, pretending to wipe away happy tears from her eyes. "That was just for last night! You know, when you looked as if you had the capacity to drown a mermaid in your angered state…."

"Mate, you can't get off the hook that easily with us. You should know this by now."

Though they were both ready to laugh this whole thing off and joke about it, Albus knew that he most definitely was not. He wasn't the type to hold a grudge, but he couldn't deny that he was a bit hurt by their nonchalance at this whole ordeal. He had been _crying_ last night, and all they wanted to know was who he hooked up with. They were willing to shrug off the pain he'd been in if he asked them to, but not the juicy details of his sex life? "Well I still don't feel like talking about it…so bug off," he said under his breath, turning on his heel and stalking away.

Or, well, stalking away as best he could without irritating the pain in his backside even further…. So it came out a bit childish and pathetic.

Which only served to cause Frank and Rose to laugh _more_. He understood why they couldn't take him seriously…but honestly could they at least try?

"We're still not going to talk about the two of you, though! At all! I'm am _not_ ready for _that_! And I can't say I ever will be…."

That was something Al was going to be adamant upon. They could joke and prod all they wanted about his personal life and what they suspected might be going on. _However_, he didn't want to have to hear anything about the changing dynamics of this three-way-friendship. He couldn't handle something so strong and so meaningful in his life to just fall apart right now. As it inevitably would once this ended in tears….


End file.
